Selfish
by sari15
Summary: The neko gets a visitor the night before graduation. She says she's being selfish but she doesn't know the meaning of the word...yet. What really is the price of freedom? KxT spoilers 116 and up
1. Selfish

**Spoilers through 118**

_Clean chapter_

_There is a lemon in this chapter, this is the **CLEAN** version. The lemon can be found under my mediaminer account._

_Sari-15_

**Selfish**

Chapter One

"Oh! I am _so_ sorry, Kyou!" she squealed, leaping to her feet. Rushing to the sink, she grabbed the nearest towel before hurrying back to the table to clean up the mess.

"What's with you tonight?" he growled, milk dripping off his pants and onto the floor as he stood next to the table.

Tohru's cheeks heated at his comment; instead, she preoccupied herself with cleaning up the mess. Starting to reach to dry off his pants, her eyes widened as she stopped herself. "I-I-I'll just let y-you do that," she moaned, her cheeks burning even hotter.

"That's what I thought…" he smirked, grabbing the towel from her hands.

"I am so clumsy, Kyou. I'm sorry!"

"Stop apologizing," he growled, handing the towel back to her before heading out of the door. "I'll change my pants and everything will be fine."

Seconds later, she heard his feet on the steps. Burying her face in her hands, she moaned, "Oh I knew this was a bad idea! Why did I ever think I could do this?" Sighing in defeat, she quickly cleaned up the glass of milk that her shaking hands knocked over as she'd handed it to him.

She'd known since that fateful day nearly two years ago what the fate of the cat would be. Akito had delightfully informed her that after graduation Kyou would be imprisoned, like the cats that had come before him.

Breaking the curse had consumed her from that moment on as she searched for an answer. She'd waited for him to tell her himself, but he hadn't. It was the night before graduation, his last night of freedom, and still she waited for him to tell her.

The past few months he'd slowly rebuilt the walls that she had thought she'd torn down years ago. Unable to find anything but heartache in her search, she didn't know what else to do to help him. Defeated, heartbroken, and desperate, the only thing she knew was she couldn't lose him. Even after he was gone, she wouldn't stop fighting for him.

"I think it's clean now," he teased, tapping her in the back of the head as he flew past her to his seat. "I don't think the table has been _this_ clean in a long time."

Jerking away in surprise, Tohru hadn't even heard him come back down the stairs with all of her daydreaming getting in her way as she cleaned the table. "I'll get you another glass of milk," she blurted, rushing to the refrigerator to refill his glass. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather go out and do something tonight? I mean we do graduate tomorrow. We should do something to celebrate!"

"You don't need to stick around here with me, Tohru," he said, suddenly looking as if his food was more interesting then it really was. "Go meet your friends. It's raining, everyone is gone and I just feel like going to bed early."

"Oh," she frowned, biting her lip. "Do you want to play cards?"

"Nah, just not in the mood," he sighed, putting his chopsticks down as he ran a hand through his orange hair. "You know how I get when it's raining. I just haven't slept very good lately anyway and I want to go to bed early."

"You haven't been sleeping well, Kyou?"

"No, not really," he growled, picking up his glass and taking a large drink.

"But you've been going to bed so early lately," Tohru pressed. "Is everything okay?"

He nodded, slowly poking his fish with a chopstick. Several silent minutes later, he stood up and took his dishes to the sink. "I'm gonna go to bed," he announced, heading for the door. He paused, looking back at her from the doorway, "She'd be proud of you, ya know?"

"Me? Who? Mom?"

"Yeah, you've done good, Tohru."

She smiled as he disappeared from view. _'Poor Kyou, he looks exhausted. He's probably all worried about tomorrow and hasn't been able to sleep lately.'_ Finishing some last minute cleaning in the kitchen before heading to get ready for bed herself, Tohru wished that the rain would stop. She'd planned everything out, she thought—but she hadn't counted on the rain. When it came to dealing with Kyou, something like the rain could throw her calculations off.

Slowly trudging up the stairs, Tohru stopped at Kyou's door to listen for movements inside. Hearing his feet on the floor, she continued on to her room grabbing the box at the back of her closet before locking herself in the bathroom.

Placing the box on the counter, she turned to the bath and started to fill the tub with warm water. Turning back to the counter, she finally dared to open the box that she'd gotten from Ayame several months ago. She'd been afraid to open it until now.

"_I was making this and for some reason it just screamed 'Tohru' so I had to give it to you. It's guaranteed to bring any man you use it on to their knees in an instant, so use carefully." _

She grinned, thinking about the snake as she stared at the gold silk resting inside the box. _'Oh my…'_ she thought, pulling the fabric slowly out of the box as she revealed a summer kimono. Most of the robe was a light gold, but the edges were a strange mix of silk in two different shades of gold, both very distinctive from each other as well as darker than the first. _'Ayame, this is beautiful, thank you. He even embroidered the twelve Juunishi around all the edges, but still no cat…'_

Placing it back in the box with a sigh, Tohru slowly undressed, folding her clothes and placing them on the counter next to the box. Turning the water off, Tohru slid into the water, letting the heat ease some of her tension. It hadn't taken much work to get Shigure and Yuki out of the house for the night. Yuki had spent the evening with his friends from student council. She wasn't sure where Shigure had gone…but he knew Tohru needed to talk with Kyou about tomorrow and was more than happy to give her the space she needed.

Slowly soaping her legs as she lifted them out of the water, her hands still shook slightly. _'Someone would think that I was terrified, and I am. I want this more than anything; I just don't think I could handle the rejection if that's what happens.' _ Rinsing out the washcloth before hanging it to dry on the side of the tub, Tohru stepped out of the bath as she wrapped herself in a large towel.

Looking in the mirror, she slowly unraveled the braids from her hair leaving the desired effect behind. She'd washed her hair that morning and braided it while it was still damp, letting it dry while still in the plaits and leaving behind a torrent of waves as she took her hair down now. Fingering through her hair, she separated the waves, admiring them as they fell down her back.

Tohru pulled a bag out from underneath a counter; she didn't often wear cosmetics so her selection wasn't very large. Digging through the items she did own, she selected a few light colors for her eyes and some body powder. Biting her lip as she debated the rest of the makeup, she grabbed a clear lip-gloss and eyeliner before placing the bag to the side.

Starting with her eyes, she had chosen gold and bronze to compliment the kimono Ayame had made for her. Inspecting her handiwork as she applied the lip-gloss, she couldn't help admiring the way the colors brought out the brightness in her eyes. Pleased with the look, Tohru pulled a powder brush from her bag before removing the towel from her body.

Her hands shaking, she opened the container of shimmering powder before dipping her brush into the cosmetic. Lightly stroking it across her chest and shoulders, the powder left a light mist of glitter in its wake as she worked. Sighing as she closed the jar, she quickly placed everything back in the cosmetic bag and returned it to the cabinet. Hanging up the towel, she eyed the kimono—the only thing left for her to do.

Slowly removing it from its box, she slid into the silk sleeves before tightly cinching the ties together. It fit her perfectly, as she had assumed it would, but the length of it barely hit the top of her knee. _'He did say it would bring _any_ man to his knees…'_ Taking a final look in the mirror, she was surprised to see someone that looked like a slightly older version of herself staring back at her. "I can do this…" she whispered, collecting her clothes and putting them in the box. "I'll just put these in my room first."

Rushing across the hall, she quickly dropped the box inside her door and turned toward her final destination. _'Just seven steps and this will all be over,'_ she thought, though suddenly those seven steps seemed much further away then they'd been seconds before. Sighing, she closed her eyes, forcing herself to take the first couple steps without looking at her goal. Opening her eyes again, she took the final two steps and lifted her hand to knock on the door in front of her, but couldn't get up the nerve to tap on it.

"_I thought that you were all about saying what you feel," Kyou growled softly, looking off into the distance. "Normally I hate people who whine all the time…but in your case…"_

_Tohru stared at him in surprise as he awkwardly avoided any eye contact with her, but continued to speak. "It would be okay to complain…be selfish…say what you want once in awhile. It's okay to let yourself be sad."_

Biting her lip as the memory consumed her; it gave her the courage to do just that as she knocked on the door. Hearing his frustrated sigh, followed by the rustling of objects before he growled, "Come on in, Tohru."

Feeling her cheeks heat as she turned the knob to open the door, she slowly pushed it open. "I wasn't sure if you'd still be awake…"

"Yeah, well I shouldn't be," he sighed, finally looking up at her before turning as crimson as his eyes. "What do you…? Tohru, what the _hell_ are you wearing?"

"I thought it was pretty…" she replied, pulling every ounce of courage she possessed to follow the advice Rin had given her in passing one day. She'd never thought she'd ever take the suggestion seriously, but she was desperate. Tugging on the tie, she released the bow and let the silk slide down her arms to flutter to her feet.

'_Speechless…I hope that's a good sign…'_ she thought, watching him fight for words as he quickly paled to white.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

'_Just hurry and go to bed, damn it…'_

He flipped the page, growling at a picture of Momiji hanging off a smiling Tohru at the beach house as they swam. Hearing her empty the water out of the bath, he was just thankful she hadn't decided to leave him alone tonight. He might have taken up her offer to go out, if it hadn't been raining. The rain always seemed to drain him of energy, though it wasn't too bad tonight, he just hadn't been in the mood to leave the house. He hadn't been lying when he said he hadn't been sleeping well lately.

Tonight was the last night of freedom he had, graduation was tomorrow and he'd be locked up for the rest of his life. Akito had made a bet with him about Yuki, a bet that Kyou had given up on long ago. It wasn't that he thought he couldn't beat Yuki, he was pretty positive that with all the training, the strength, and the growth he'd done emotionally these past few years might aid in that fight for him to finally beat the rat. He just didn't care about winning anymore. Kyou had come to terms with his fate—since he'd fallen in love with her. Nothing good ever came to those who cared about him, including Kyoko Honda—Tohru's mother.

There were some walls that Tohru had never been able to break through, not many but his friendship with her mother and his part in her death had been one of them. The other was what would happen tomorrow. He didn't want her pity, he never wanted her to be sad because of him, and he chose long ago to never tell her. He didn't want to taint his memories of her with pain, hurt, or anger—so he locked up his feelings and kept his crimes to himself.

The day of his punishment would come and he willingly would do the time for hurting the one person he would move mountains to make happy. It was his fault she ended up mixed up in this family, his fault she was alone, his fault that her mother was gone. To him, this imprisonment had nothing to do with being the cat.

It was for him.

'_Damn it, Tohru! Go to sleep!'_

In the meantime, he was flooding his head with as many memories as he could get. It wasn't that he couldn't sleep—he just refused to. Every night he went to bed early so he could look through photo albums as he listened to her get ready for bed. Once he knew she was asleep, he would crawl into her window and watch her sleep until the sun came up the next morning. He would catch a nap when he could during the day, but he refused to give up his time watching her at night.

Tonight would be the last night he could do that. He was damn lucky no one caught him during these past two months. _'Finally…'_ he thought hearing her footsteps as they made their way to her room. She paused and slowly headed toward his door. _'Damn it…'_ he growled as the knock sounded on his door. Leaping up, he slammed the photo album closed and shoved it beneath his bed.

"Come on in, Tohru."

Staring out the window as the rain fell against the glass, he heard as she slowly opened the door. "I wasn't sure you'd still be awake…"

'_I was hoping you'd be sleeping by now…'_ he couldn't help thinking to himself. "Yeah, well I shouldn't be…" he sighed as he turned away from the window to look at her. "What do you…? Tohru, what the _hell_ are you wearing?"

'_Oh my god, what the fuck is she doing to me?'_ he panicked, trying to think of a way to get her covered without getting too close to her. He decided that the best chance was to send her running out the door. _'Does she not realize she's practically naked?'_

Something about the blush on her face made him think that she did know how little clothing she was wearing…which only scared him more.

"I thought it was pretty…" she answered quietly, as her face suddenly burned about ten shades darker. Slowly, he watched as she gripped the tie to the robe and pulled.

He couldn't breathe, couldn't speak, couldn't move, couldn't do anything but watch as the gold silk slowly fluttered to the floor around her feet. Suddenly feeling faint, he couldn't tear his eyes away from her if he tried, even as his knees gave out and he found himself kneeling on the floor as he worshiped her. Kyou memorized every tiny part of her, from the curve of her hip, to the small mole on her stomach and up to the crimson blush covering her face as she gave him a shy smile.

'_Do something!'_ his head screamed. "Damn it! Close the door before someone else sees you!"

Watching as she quietly closed the door, one of the voices in his head screamed, _'You forgot to tell her to leave too.'_ The other voice was laughing, _'This is Tohru…in his room…naked as the day she was born and you think he'd make her leave?'_

"But they won't be home until morning…" she replied.

'_Oh…fuck me…I'm screwed…'_

'_I think that's what she's planning…'_

'_Shut up! I don't think for a second that choosing this day is a coincidence…'_

The voices quickly shut up as all the pieces clicked together. Feeling as if he'd just been doused with cold water, he slumped in defeat, hanging his head toward the floor as he sighed, "How long have you known?"

"Known?"

"About tomorrow," he growled, clinching his hands into fists from frustration.

"Oh…" she sighed, giving him a small smile. "I found out at the beach house when Akito came to see me."

'_Damn…that's a long time,'_ he thought. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I thought you would want to tell me yourself. I kept waiting and waiting and you never said anything. I've been trying to break the curse, Kyou. I've been trying to free you. First, I found out Kureno had been free since he was about our age…"

'_Kureno…?'_ His head whipped up to stare at her in disbelief."What?"

"Then I found out Momiji had broken free…"

"Holy shit…"

"Then Hiro…," she sighed, dropping to her knees as she buried her head in her hands. "They don't know why though, they are just free. I tried, but I failed…I couldn't free you in time. I failed…I failed…"

Standing up in disgust, he yanked his shirt off over his head and threw it at her. "So instead you'd 'make it up' to me by having _sex_ with me? The poor cat gets locked up tomorrow, since I couldn't save him, I'll give him a nice 'pity fuck' and send him on his way. I don't need that from anyone, especially not you, Tohru. Put that shirt on and get out of here…"

He briefly saw her reaction before he turned, like she'd been slapped across the face. He just wanted her out of there fast; he couldn't stand it anymore. He heard the sobs as they started, but closed his eyes to block them out.

"It's not like that…" she whispered. "_It's not _like_ that, Kyou!_"

Stunned, he slowly turned to see her with her hands clenched tightly and glaring at him in determination—as tears ran down her cheeks. He couldn't remember ever hearing her raise her voice like that. _'Did she just_ yell_ at me?'_

"You told me once that it was okay to be selfish once in awhile. I tried not to be…" she sighed, dropping her gaze to the floor. "The more I tried, the more selfish I became. Rin got so sick because she wanted to release Hatsuharu, did you know that?"

He shook his head, wondering where this was going.

"She couldn't find a way…and the ulcers started, and she got pretty ill. I had been fighting on my own for so long, so had she…Trying to be 'selfless' I wanted to help free everyone. I talked to anyone I thought might be able to break the curse…but I was lying…mostly to myself…," she sniffed, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. "I didn't care about them at all…just myself."

"Tohru, that's just ridiculous. You care about all of them," he said.

She gave a soulless laugh, twisting the long forgotten tee shirt in her hands. "No, Kyou. Every time I discovered someone had _broken_ the curse I got mad. I was only in it for one thing, something I wanted for myself. I didn't care if the person even _wanted_ their curse broken, didn't care if the person felt the same way. If your curse didn't break, they would get you—not me. I couldn't let anyone else have you, not Akito, not anyone--I need you."

"Why?" he managed to choke out, dropping to his knees as hope swelled in his chest, crawling toward her on his hands and knees until their faces were just a breath away. "Why me? Why now?"

"I'm selfish; my memories are precious to me, no matter how painful they are. Because, I need something to hold onto while you are gone. Because, I think you need to know there is someone out here who's still fighting for you, who needs you by her side. Because I lov--"

Sliding his mouth across hers, Kyou swallowed her surprised gasp as he buried his hands in her hair. Tentatively at first, she kissed him back before pushing off her heels to deepen the contact. The light fluttering of fingers resting on his chest shocked him from his reverie as the burning of skin-to-skin contact registered in his head. Quickly breaking the kiss with a groan, Kyou slowly trailed his hands down her neck and over her shoulders.

"I'm sorry," she cried, pulling her hands away from his chest. "I didn't mean to--"

"Don't apologize," he growled, grabbing her hands in his and holding them all to his chest. "It's just—I'm not used—I don't want you to stop."

Her cheeks pinked as her hands flattened beneath his, "I just don't want you to think—I mean you said that…" She couldn't look at him as she turned four shades brighter.

'_The 'pity fuck' comment, you bastard!'_ he thought, dropping his forehead to her shoulder with a sigh. "Yeah, you should know I didn't mean that. I just felt a little overwhelmed…surprised…scared…"

"You d-don't have to d-do this, Kyou," she stuttered. "I mean I just dropped this on you without thinking about what you wanted. I didn't really think it through very well…"

He dragged his mouth along her collarbone as he dropped his hands to her hips, eliciting a mewl from her throat as he explored the sensitive skin. "What you said earlier…no one has ever…with you is the only way I ever wanted it."

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Dropping his forehead against hers, his breath came in painful gasps, his heart pounded in his chest as he fought to calm himself from the aftermath. Capturing her mouth, he kissed her softly between their attempts to catch their breath before rolling on his side to lie next to her. Reaching forward to pull a strand of hair behind her ear as she rolled to face him, Kyou let his hand carefully stroke her cheek. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," she yawned, covering her mouth as she fought the obvious exhaustion that had fallen over her. She could barely keep her eyes open. "That was…amazing."

Carefully combing through her hair with his fingers, he whispered, "Go to sleep, Tohru."

"I'm…not tired," she argued quietly, her eyes closed as her face slowly relaxed under his ministrations. Moments later, her breathing evened out and he knew she'd fallen asleep.

Quietly, he watched her sleep, in his bed, against his pillows, the scent of their loving filling the room. Amazed that she would choose _him_, wanted to be with the cat, and loved him. With a smile, he sat up, grabbing his blanket from the foot of the bed, where he'd thrown it. As he covered her up, he noticed the streaks of crimson that had stained his bed sheets.

Slowly reality sank in; sure, she'd been a virgin, he hadn't been surprised at all by that—he'd been one too. He couldn't help but feel like a fraud, unable to tell her the truth. Sure, he could blame the fact that all of his thoughts fled when he realized what she wanted, because it was what he wanted too. Subconsciously he knew if he told her—she wouldn't want to be around him.

He had asked her, _'Why?'_

'_I'm selfish; my memories are precious to me, no matter how painful they are.'_

"You aren't the selfish one, Tohru," he whispered, getting to his feet and shoving his legs into his sweatpants, before finding his tee shirt across the room and dragging it over his head. "I am. When it comes to you, I am the most selfish person."

He picked up the robe, noticing for the first time the embroidered zodiac animals on the edges. _'No cat, of course…'_

'_Didn't think there would be…'_ he walked over to the bed, hanging the robe on the bedpost. From the corner of his eye as he turned to go, he noticed the kanji. The edging was made with two separate fabrics, forming kanji beneath the zodiac animals. Pulling the fabric straight—he read 'Property of Kyonkichi.'

"Damn it, Ayame…" he growled, dropping the robe like it was on fire. _'How the hell did _he_ know?'_

Standing above her, as he watched her unconsciously seek the quickly cooling warmth he'd left behind where he'd laid. "My memories are precious too, and I never want to see you with hatred in your eyes. I'd rather have lies, than have to live with painful memories of you."

"In the end, I'll just hurt you more…" he sighed, tightening the blankets around her, before kissing her forehead. "I'll make sure you know the truth…but I still want to live with the lies while I am gone. I'm the most selfish of all."

Turning to the door, he opened it as he took one last look at her, memorizing the softness of her face, the way she looked sleeping in his bed. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, closing the door behind him as he walked out of her life forever.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

_A/N_

_I apologize in advance for any major OOC…getting these two to DO anything was harder than I thought it would be. I had this started before chapter 119 came out and that chapter pretty much zapped me of inspiration. So…taking a little AU route here…I guess…_

_If I get the kinks worked out of this little plot bunny…we might have a nice angsty story on our hands…not promising anything though…_

_Sari-15_

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

_I do not own Fruits Basket or the characters affiliated with the Manga and Anime. They are the property of Natsuki Takaya…I am just 'borrowing' them for my own nefarious deeds. I own nothing, suing me won't help anyone._

_Sari-15_


	2. Aftermath

**Aftermath**

Chapter 2

Tohru slowly woke as the sunlight seeped in the window and into her eyes, her thoughts still foggy and confused as consciousness fought against the strange comfort that attempted to lull her back to sleep. She inhaled deeply, hugging the comforter to her chin as she found her senses immersed in the powerful aphrodisiac--the scent of Kyou Sohma surrounded her. She opened her eyes, letting them adjust in the sunlight as she slowly remembered where she was and why she had woken there.

Tucked tightly in his sheets, Tohru reached out to find Kyou but found she was alone in the bed. Sitting up, she looked around the room, but didn't see a sign of him anywhere. Where he'd slept for the night was already cold, not that Tohru was surprised. No matter how early Tohru woke, Kyou was usually already up for the day.

Finding her robe hanging from the post of his bed, she slid to her feet and wrapped it around her as heat quickly rose to her cheeks, her actions from the night before suddenly all too clear in her head. She couldn't help be find herself excited to see him again, wanting to spend the rest of the day with him so they could have a day he'd never forget. A day that would give him hope, help him fight and remind him she always wanted to be with him.

Although today would break her heart, she wanted every moment until that time to be with him. _'Starting with breakfast!' _Smiling to herself, she quickly rushed to get ready for the day, wanting to have food on the table by the time he returned from his morning run. It only took about twenty minutes before she found herself running downstairs to start breakfast for Kyou.

Looking around the kitchen, Tohru smiled to herself as she headed over to the refrigerator to look for what she had on hand to cook for him. _'Kyou likes eggs for breakfast_…' she thought, pulling out a carton as she placed them on the counter. The neko tended to be quite picky about his food, preferring to eat foods that weren't extremely strong tasting. Fish, chicken and bland vegetables topping the list of things that he liked to eat.

It didn't take long for her to have a nice breakfast prepared and set out on the table; she'd gotten quite good at handling it all on her own over the past years. But…Tohru glanced at the clock hanging over the door, _'Kyou-kun is usually home in time to help set the table._' Biting her lower lip, she tried to not let it bother her but their morning routine together hadn't ever really changed. He should have been home fifteen minutes ago…

'_Maybe he got up later than usual,'_ she told herself, watching as the clock ticked off several more minutes without him arriving home. It was nearly seven…Tohru sat down at her spot at the table, realizing this was the first time in her years living here that she'd had no one to eat with. _'Kyou-kun should be home in a couple of minutes, I can just wait for him. He has a hard day ahead of him, maybe he just needed to spend a little more time burning off some of the stress and fear…'_

Gnawing on her lower lip, Tohru glanced at the clock briefly before staring at the breakfast she'd made. _'Twenty-five minutes…it's not…really that's not too long. I shouldn't worry so much.'_ Forcing herself, she picked up the chopsticks in front of her, determined to eat a little before the food got cold.

She couldn't even manage to force a single bite past her mouth, just pushed the food around on her plate with shaking hands as she checked the clock every few seconds. The seconds turned into minutes and before she knew it, fifteen more minutes had passed by. _'He…he's not coming back…is he mom?'_ He was nearly forty-five minutes late and Tohru's mind raced through all the things that could have happened to him. She knew well enough what could happen to someone out in the world…

She almost laughed, realizing she wanted that to be the case. He'd gotten hurt, that's why he wasn't home yet. He'd sprained an ankle, he'd unexpectedly transformed, gotten lost—anything but what she really feared.

The front door opened, making her heart race with hope as she stared at the entryway of the kitchen waiting for him to make his appearance. A figure stopped in the doorway, staring at her in disbelief. Her heart caught in her throat, resting for a heartbeat before shattering into a million pieces.

"Honda-san?"

"Yuki-kun, you're home!" Tohru leapt to her feet, grabbing the two plates of long cooled food from the table. "Are you hungry? I can make you some breakfast! It will only take a minute. How did Yuki-kun's night go with his friends? Are you ready for the ceremony today? I can't believe--"

"Honda-san!"

"I can't believe it's already graduation day! I didn't think this day would ever get here!" She said happily, rinsing the plates off in the sink. A hand reached over her, turning the water off as her hand dropped the dishes on each other, too weak to hold anything anymore.

He forced her to turn around and look at him, tears already trailing down her cheeks before she even looked up at him. His eyes were cold and angry as he pulled her into an awkward embrace so he didn't transform. "I think I made a mistake, Yuki-kun…" Tohru sobbed, burying her head into his shoulder as the tears fell. "He's not coming back is he?"

"Tohru-kun, it's not your mistake…it's that damned baka neko's," Yuki replied, the use of her given name making her cry even harder. "I don't know what happened, I certainly don't know how his stupid brain works but I do know he loves you. It was his mistake, not yours. Listen…there's something you probably don't know about the Nekozuki …the rest of us don't really talk about it."

"I know," she sniffed, pushing away from the nezumi to go find herself a tissue. "I've known for a long time. A…Akito made sure I knew…I've been trying to release the curse for almost two years."

"Tohru…" Yuki sighed, sadness weighing his violet eyes as he looked at her.

"No," she said, biting her lip as she looked back at him. "Kureno's been free since he was about fifteen, that's why you all were kept away from him."

"_What?_"

"It's possible, Yuki," she said, rubbing her eyes as tears swelled within them again. "I couldn't free him in time. Others have freed…Momiji…Hiro…"

He didn't respond, just stood there staring at her in disbelief.

"I should go get some work done before we have to return to school…" Tohru said, not wanting to break down in front of her friend again.

"Hond—Tohru-kun," Yuki reached out for her arm as she began to walk away. She turned around as tears began to fall again. "There are some strawberries that need to be harvested…would you like to help me? I'm sure he'll make it to graduation…he knows how much it means to you."

"Thank you, I would be happy to help you," she replied, knowing he was trying to distract her from her heartache. She knew that Kyou wasn't coming to graduation…but was still thankful for the lie.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

He'd been running all day. He started the day running from Tohru in the early morning hours and ended up at the dojo. Several hours before dawn, Shishou had climbed to the roof of their home to talk to him. He wasn't sure how his 'father' had known he was there, but in his years of living with him, Shishou had never invaded his sanctuary before.

'_Didn't take long for him to figure out what happened…'_ he thought, bitter betrayal burning through him as he thought about the fact that Shishou had _known_ since the beginning that Tohru was trying to break the curse, that she'd fallen in love with him. _'Damn it! He could have told me! None of this would have happened!'_

He'd taken off running again, wandering around the city until he found himself here…spying at his own graduation. He watched from a tall tree a good distance away, close enough to see, but far enough not to be seen unless someone knew where to look. Watching as an extremely large number of Sohma's had walked in with her, before Yuki walked her hand in hand over to her friends. Hanajima had wrapped her in a tight hug before handing her over to Uotani. As Uotani fretted over Tohru, Hanajima focused her attention on him, lifting a brow as their eyes connected. The slight shock he received he took as a warning. "Fix it or leave…_fine_!" he growled, climbing down the tree. "It's all Yuki's fault anyway…him and that stupid hat! None of this would have happened!"

Feet hitting the ground, Kyou took off toward the woods, his mind unable to accept the things he'd done, the mistakes he'd made in his life. He ran as if his past threatened to catch up with him, not wanting to think about the fact that it already had. He wasn't surprised to discover himself standing in front of Shigure's home.

"Fate fucking hates me, doesn't it?" he growled, stomping inside knowing he'd be alone because he'd seen all of his housemates at graduation. He wasn't even sure what he was doing here, but his body moved of it own accord. He stormed up the stairs and past his own bedroom, surprised to find himself slamming into Tohru's room. Looking around her room, he suddenly realized what an idiot he was. A Jyuunishi set sat on her dresser, complete with hand painted cat, the paper flower he'd given her she'd taped to the corner of the mirror…and he was in more of the pictures than anyone else—including her. In fact, there were three photos where he was the only one in them...every other picture had at least another person in them.

Even the picture of her mother was now of one of both her parents.

"Why?" Kyou growled, turning away from what he hadn't wanted to see. "It shouldn't have been me! It should have been Yuki! That's how it works, right? I want something—he takes it away!"

Grabbing the little red hat off its special place on her dresser, he stormed from the room as he rushed down the stairs. "I didn't want to win this…I didn't want to win this...not like this…" He grabbed one of Shigure's lighters from the hall table, suddenly realizing the heat rushing down his face was his own tears. Making his way outside, his hands shaking as he worked, it took him several tries to flick the lighter. Looking at the orange flame, he lit the fabric on fire watching as the hat slowly burned.

He wasn't sure what he expected, if burning the proof of one of his mistakes was supposed to make him feel better—he should have grabbed the sheets from his bed and made a nice bonfire. Wiping the tears from his cheeks, he stepped on the fire, putting out the flame and leaving a nice charred memory behind as he walked away from Shigure's house.

Still not sure where he headed, he let his feet lead him as slowly found himself on the surrounding property of the Sohma Main House. In the end, he wasn't real surprised to find himself banging on the door of one of the nearby homes. The door flew open as Kyou Sohma looked his cousin in the eyes, tears streaming down his face. "Hatori…_please! _I can't live like this! Make it go away! Make her go away!"

Kyou watched as a bitter sadness entered the doctor's eye as he looked at him. With a sigh, the tatsu looked around for a sign that anyone else was around before letting the neko into his home. Shutting the door behind Kyou, Hatori dug in his pocket for his pack of cigarettes, pulling one out and lighting it. The doctor took a moment to take a long drag from it before answering the neko's request. "You want me to remove your memories of the person you love? I don't take that lightly—especially you doing that to someone like Honda-kun. I'll _think_ about it…if you tell me why. There better be a damned good reason."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

He'd felt helpless all day, a feeling he hadn't had in awhile and it brought back reminders of why he hated the emotion. He'd done everything he could to keep Tohru as happy as he could, but he wasn't what she needed or wanted. _'Damn him! What is he thinking?'_ he usually found himself merely annoyed at Kyou when he pulled something stupid. He was damned confused and furious with the neko for leaving her alone for the day without even telling her why he left.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to Hanajima-san's?" he asked quietly, knowing he had to leave for the main house soon. She'd be left alone for the evening; he wasn't sure how to tell her that yet.

"No, I have plenty of things I've been putting off," she answered quietly, looking at the ground as they walked. "Laundry…I...I didn't get anything d…done today. I should p…probably look for—look for somewhere to live since—since I am done with school."

"I'm sure Shigure won't want you to go anywhere for quite awhile," Yuki said, placing a hand on her head as they headed up the walkway.

"I…I know…it's just…" Tohru trailed off, staring at an object on the ground.

Yuki followed her gaze, moving to pick up the object. He instantly recognized it as the same hat he'd given Tohru as a child. "What the hell is wrong with him?" he growled, inspecting the charred remains. Although it was mostly intact, there was a large hole where the neko had obviously lit the cap on fire.

"Why would someone burn my hat?" she asked, tears welling in her eyes for probably the thousandth time that day.

Frustrated, Yuki handed the hat to Tohru. "I don't know; why does your beloved Kyou do _anything_?" Tohru just looked at him in confusion. Yuki dragged a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. It was probably past time he let her know the truth. "The hat originally belonged to Kyou. I imagine he thinks I stole it from him, but I tried to give it back. He just refused to take it because 'the rat' touched it. I didn't even want it, but one day I ran away from the main house using some of Haru's clothes and Kyou's hat to 'disguise' myself. Your mom was yelling in streets, and I thought I remembered seeing you so I went back to check. I was going to go back to tell someone where you were…since…well…I'd just had a bunch of friends memories erased, but you followed."

He almost laughed at her look of surprise, "I'd transformed because I was so out of breath, that's why I was gone so quick."

"Yuki? It was…but why would?" Tohru smiled for the first time all day. "It was you? All this time?"

"Yeah, I just don't understand why Kyou's holding such a grudge over a simple hat," Yuki sighed, wondering if Ayame would be able to repair the hat at all for her. "Even for him, it doesn't make much sense. I mentioned it once before, that you now had it. He reacted…well it doesn't surprise me that it's in this state."

"I'm so glad it was you," she said quietly, staring at the ground.

"No," he said, placing his hand back on her head. "Thank you for not forgetting. That day meant a lot to me."

Tohru sighed, looking at the little red cap. "So…at least we know he came back."

"Yes," Yuki said, as Tohru walked in the door. "Listen…Tohru, I have something I need to go do for a little bit. Are you sure you don't want one of your friends to come over tonight?"

She looked a little taken aback, but quickly recovered, shaking her head in the negative. "I really do have a lot of work to do…"

"O…Okay," he said, suddenly feeling a massive weight settle on his shoulders. He couldn't help feeling like he was betraying her, leaving her here like this. "I shouldn't be gone too long. I promise to come back as soon as I can. I just…I can't get out of this."

She nodded, gripping the cap in her hands tightly before quietly turning and heading further into the house. Yuki shut the door, walking away from the house, a dark cloud following him. Though he wasn't particularly fond of the neko, he had acquired a reluctant respect for him in the past couple of years.

The idea of getting in a few painful hits or giving him a few broken bones tempted Yuki for whatever had happened between Kyou and Tohru the night before, but that was because Yuki had his suspicions about what had transpired. He didn't want to know the truth, because he would probably kill the neko if he was right. No matter how he personally felt about Kyou, he envied him too much to look down on him like most of the Jyuunishi. He didn't pity the Nekozuki, only believed his fate was cruel and shouldn't happen to anyone. He wouldn't wish for anyone to go through that—worst enemy or not.

Staring at the main house in front of him, it was moments like this he hated the curse the most. Akito's orders bringing him to witness something he didn't want to see happen to anyone, no matter how furious he was with the individual. Making his way through the door, Yuki headed down the hall to join the rest of his family.

"Yuki! I was beginning to think you weren't going to make it!"

Giving Akito a cursory glace, Yuki refocused his attention to his orange haired cousin standing next to Kazuma in the front of the room. It took only a moment for Kyou to turn around and make eye contact. "You know I have no choice," Yuki commented to Akito before pointedly making his next remark to the neko. "Someone had to make sure _Tohru-kun_ arrived home from graduation safely."

Kyou's eyes narrowed, glaring at him.

"Ah yes, Honda Tohru," Akito smirked, moving to the front of the room. "How is our little family charity case doing?"

Eyes still trained on Kyou, Yuki didn't miss the blatant insult at Tohru that Akito tossed out. "She's had a rough day," he replied, still not directing the comment at Akito. The neko guiltily broke eye contact with the nezumi.

Akito lightly grabbed Kyou's face as he walked past him, "Of course she has…she failed."

The neko jerked his head away, glaring at Akito in disgust, hands clenched at his sides as Kazuma stepped between the two. Akito said something to Kyou, though he strained to hear, Yuki was unable to decipher the words.

"_Don't talk about her like that!_" Kyou fought to get to Akito through Kazuma, successfully grabbing hold of his kimono. "_You don't know her; just leave her out of this._"

Akito laughed as Kazuma forcefully separated the two of them. "Leave _her_ out of it? How can_ I_ leave _her_ out when _she's_ the one constantly interfering?" The entire room quieted as they followed the direction in which Akito's raised arm indicated. There, in the doorway stood Tohru Honda. "I suppose you've come to bargain for your monster."

"Don't call him that…" Tohru whispered, her eyes obviously seeking out Kyou.

Yuki's hands clenched into fists, watching as Kyou still avoided eye contact with Tohru. _'Baka neko, she's here fighting for your_ life_ and you still won't look at her?'_ Disgust and rage boiled in the nezumi's veins, wanting to go across the room and beat some sense into the neko.

"Tohru, _go home_!" Kyou growled; staring at the ground with his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

"No! I can't let them do this to you!" She yelled; choking on a sob as Kyou finally looked up at her in surprise. Yuki didn't blame him; he'd never heard her yell before either. "Please, I know there isn't much I can do…but I will do anything. Just give him his freedom, please."

"You want to give me something for such a worthless being?" Akito laughed, looking around the room at the rest of the Jyuunishi. "Don't you understand that they are _nothing_ without me? Of all of them, you bargain for the Nekozuki? Oh, that is just _brilliant_! The little monster fell in love with the monster."

"Tohru, stay out of this!" Kyou growled, as Tohru dropped to her knees in front of the head of the family. The murmuring of his fellow Jyuunishi showed the surprise at the scene unfolding in front of them.

"Actually, there is one thing I want from you," Akito said, leaning over and grasping Tohru's head in his hands. "I will grant your request for his freedom, on one condition. I want you _out_ of the Sohma family. I want you out of their lives—all of them. I want your memories of _all_ of them—of Yuki, Shigure and even of Kyou. I will give the monster his freedom; he'll never be locked up, if you are willing to do this."

_I do not own Fruits Basket or the characters affiliated with the Manga and Anime. They are the property of Natsuki Takaya…I am just 'borrowing' them for my own nefarious deeds. I own nothing, suing me won't help anyone._

_Sari-15_


	3. The Price of Freedom

**The Price of Freedom**

Chapter Three

"Tohru, stay out of this!" Kyou growled; panic rushing through him as he watched her drop to her knees in front of Akito.

"Actually, there is one thing I want from you," Akito said, leaning over and grasping Tohru's head in his hands. "I will grant your request for his freedom, on one condition. I want you _out_ of the Sohma family. I want you out of their lives—all of them. I want your memories of _all_ of them—of Yuki, Shigure and even of Kyou. I will give the monster his freedom; he'll never be locked up, if you are willing to do this."

Shaking his head in horror, Kyou's legs moved of their own accord taking several quick steps toward the pair before sliding the rest of the way on his knees, successfully knocking her out of Akito's grasp. "You _idiot_! You can't do this!" he yelled, clamping a hand firmly over her mouth before she could throw her life away on his. "I'm not gonna let you do this! I'm not worth it!"

Tears welled in her brown eyes, shaking her head sadly, as she stared at him. Bringing a hand across his cheek, Tohru removed the single tear he hadn't even realized had escaped. She didn't have to speak for him to understand her answer, if it would save him, she would do anything.

"Isn't this a beautiful sight? I think I might be sick," Akito sneered from behind him. "No, you aren't worth it but it's not your choice, my little monster. The choice of saving you or not is in her hands right now."

Kyou's blood froze, he knew he couldn't let her do this for him but knew that changing her mind would be next to impossible without revealing the secret he'd been keeping from her. Most of the Sohma family had accepted her as one of their own. They were her family and friends, something he knew she'd had very little of in her life. Asking her to give that up-for him-he couldn't do. He turned to look at Shishou, knowing the answer would be the same as he'd been telling him since the beginning. As expected, the man who had raised him gave him a quick nod of encouragement before Kyou turned back to Akito. "Gimme ten minutes with her."

"Why should I give you anything?"

"You don't _need_ to give me anything," Kyou growled, glaring at Akito in frustration. "I don't want her doing anything without all the facts. You'll probably get what you want either way; she'll be out of our lives..."

"You can say what you want right here," Akito said, smiling darkly at him.

"Akito," a voice broke in from the back of the room. Kyou turned to watch as Hatori pulled his keys out from his pocket. In his panic, Kyou had completely forgotten that the rest of the Jyuunishi were there watching the entire thing unfold. "They can use my office for a few minutes."

A wash of relief spread over the neko as his older cousin came to his defense; suddenly thankful the tatsu had refused his request. Without his memories, Kyou wouldn't have a clue about who Tohru was and what she was trying to do at the moment. Kyou's eyes switched between Akito and Hatori, anxiously waiting for an answer. Although he looked annoyed, Akito finally sighed in defeat turning away from them all. "Five minutes," Akito replied as he walked toward the window. "I will allow five minutes and not a second more. I expect them back here the moment time is up."

Grabbing her hand, Kyou quickly pulled a very confused Tohru to her feet. "We need to talk," he said quietly, dragging her behind him past the rest of the Jyuunishi as he followed Hatori into a nearby hallway.

"Kyou...I _want_ to do this for you," Tohru whispered quietly.

Without a word, Kyou squeezed her hand back in response as Hatori stopped in front of the office door. Shoving the key in the lock, the tatsu quickly flung the door open. "You have five minutes; I'll come back when time is almost up. You need to do this quick, though."

Hatori practically shoved the couple in the door as he switched the light on before shutting the door after them. Kyou looked around the familiar office, leading Tohru to a couch on the opposite side of the room. He wasn't sure how to begin, but knew he didn't have much time to even think about it. Restless, Kyou couldn't even let himself sit down as she waited for him to talk to her. Her brown eyes reflecting her obvious worry, Kyou sighed, "You don't need to do this..."

"But..."

"I knew who you were, that day I broke through the roof of your room," he spat out, trying to figure out the best place to start and figured starting at the end--or the middle, depending on how you looked at it--might work best. "I mean, I didn't _know_ you...I knew who you were."

She looked confused, not that he was surprised. Explaining things was never a strong point of his; he hadn't expected that to change now. "What I mean is...I met your mom when I was a kid, right after I moved in with Shishou."

She smiled, unarming him for a moment. "You knew my mom? Why didn't you ever--"

"Cause...it's not really what I would call a 'happy story'," he answered, cutting off her question before she could ask it. "I was going to meet you...had finally decided that it would be okay. When I got there, you were missing...I promised her I would find you...that day."

Tohru's eyes widened in surprise as the pieces clicked together. "The hat...Yuki...Oh, Kyou!"

Kyou sighed, dragging a hand through his hair as he turned away. "I hadn't even known I'd been competing against him at the time, so losing to him..."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"How much freedom, Akito?"

Turning away from the window, Akito flashed him a look of disgust before speaking. "I should have known you'd be the one to give me problems," Akito growled, looking at all of the Jyuunishi standing behind him. The instant Kyou and Tohru had stepped out of earshot; they'd all erupted in nervous chatter. "All of you! Be quiet, I can't think!"

"I won't let you erase her memory for nothing," Shishou continued, taking a step toward the head of Sohma house. "If she agrees to this, I won't let you go back on your word."

"There really isn't anything you can do if I change my mind," Akito said, turning back to look outside the window. "You may have raised him, but _I_ am his god. If I tell him, even you won't be able to stop him from following my orders. You knew that already though, which is why you have waited until now to help him."

"That's not fair!" Momiji busted out, breaking away from the rest of the Jyuunishi. "She's willing to sacrifice everything for him! You can't just take everything away from her and then throw away her reasons like they don't matter."

"It's not his will, Akito," Hatori said, making his way back across the room. "As much as you like to try, you can't control his heart. If she agrees to this, he'll go after her and you'll be right back here again. I am sure making her fall in love with him will be easier the second time."

"Not if I forbid it!" Akito yelled, storming across the room toward Hatori. Kazuma had seen the head of the family throw several of his famous fits over the years, and he looked as if another one was forming. "He _can't_ defy my order! It's part of the bond!"

"You trust the bond with Kyou that much?" Shigure asked, moving to intercept the 'God'. "You think your bond is stronger than theirs?"

"This is entirely your fault for bringing that girl into your house! You _want_ me to lose, don't you?" Akito screamed, turning toward the inu as he approached. "Whose side are you on?"

'_Lose?'_ Kazuma would admit…he'd never seen their 'God' act like this before. Watching the scene was like witnessing an accident, no matter how uncomfortable it felt, you couldn't turn away from it. The desperation and fear in Akito's eyes and voice made him appear very vulnerable, a sight that caught Kazuma off guard as the watched Akito cling to Shigure. Confused, Kazuma turned to see the other Jyuunishi taking in the scene with varying expressions. It obviously wasn't something they were used to.

"I want an answer, Akito-sama," Kazuma pressed, turning back to the pair only to stop when he met Hatori's eyes. "I will remove her from here myself and have her live with me if I don't have your word."

"I will cut you off if you do that," Akito growled.

"I never wanted your money," Kazuma replied simply. "Frankly, I don't need it."

"Akito, their five minutes are up," Hatori said quietly, looking at Kazuma as he spoke. "What do you want to do about Kyou?"

Shoving away from Shigure, he headed back over to the window as he settled in the sill in obvious thought. "I will give him his freedom; he may do what he wants on the outside. I don't want him chasing after her though; I want both their memories of their time together. I don't want them to remember even meeting."

"No!" Kazuma looked up at the voice; Yuki had grabbed Kagura and was holding her back as tears flowed down her face. She struggled against him briefly before collapsing in the nezumi's arms.

"You think to defy me?" Akito said quietly, looking at the girl briefly before turning back to the window. He placed a hand on the glass, as if testing its temperature. "I think I am being quite giving, extremely so...considering what I could do."

"What if they don't agree to this?" Kazuma asked. He thought the chances of that would be small, but the possibility was definitely real.

"Easy, Kyou gets locked up...and for attempting to interfere I will have her memories removed." Akito turned to Hatori, getting to his feet again. "I am tired, hurry and bring them here. Let them know what I've decided, it's time to get this over with."

With a nod, the doctor headed out to retrieve the couple as the room turned somber and sad. Kazuma wasn't surprised by the reaction of several of the Jyuunishi, although there were a few that didn't seem to be bothered by the situation, mostly Shigure, others were taking it much harder. Anger and sadness reflected in almost everyone's expressions as they waited for the inevitable.

Kazuma couldn't help the bittersweet smile that formed as Hatori led them back in the room. The whites of Kyou's eyes were red; his body obviously emotionally exhausted but there was an aura of peace that he hadn't seen on his son in a long time. As he'd expected, Tohru had forgiven him as one of her hands intertwined with Kyou's and the other wiped away the lingering tears from her cheeks.

"Let's not waste anymore time," Akito said, making his way toward them. "You are both in agreement, correct?"

Tohru stared at the floor, nodding as she clung to Kyou's arm. Kyou was glaring at Akito, obviously not liking the terms of the agreement. "Yeah," he growled, finally breaking eye contact with his 'God' to look down at Tohru.

"Good. Hatori, take care of everything," Akito walked past Kazuma, grabbing Kureno by the arm. "I am exhausted, let's go now. Let me know how it goes later."

Shigure stepped in and pulled Akito away from Kureno's grasp, escorting him out of the room, as the tori followed behind. Hatori waited until the door shut behind the three of them before turning to the younger group of Jyuunishi. "We have a lot of work to do tonight. There really isn't a point for you all to stay here. Honda-kun, is there anyplace you think you can go after this?"

"I...uh...I guess I could go back to my--"

"I know who to call," Yuki interrupted, pulling a cell phone out and flipping through the names. "I'll have them meet us at the house and help us sort everything out."

"I'll come with you, Yuki," Momiji said, coming up behind the nezumi and looking over his shoulder at the name on the phone. "Oh! Good choice!"

"I'll call in a minute," Yuki replied, walking over to the pair huddled close as they spent their last minutes together. Surprisingly, Kyou didn't put up a fight when Yuki pulled Tohru away from him. However, the death glare Kyou did give the nezumi almost made Kazuma chuckle. "I made you a promise that first day you came to live with us," Yuki said, holding her hands tightly in his. "I intend to keep it, somehow I will."

Tears welled in Tohru's eyes as Yuki leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead. "Thank you so much, Yuki-kun." She wiped a tear as it fell from her eye, smiling at the nezumi. "You all have been so kind to me. I have been so lucky these last few years."

"So have we," Yuki said softly, releasing his hold on the girl, turning away as he opened his phone again. "I've got a lot to do, I think. I should get home and start. I could use some help, if anyone is willing."

With that said, Yuki headed toward the door as he hit the 'send' button on his cell phone. He didn't even look back to see if anyone followed him. The room was silent as he exited the building; Tohru had found her place back with Kyou as their hands found each other again. Kazuma watched as Momiji suddenly sprinted out the door after the nezumi, yelling at him to wait for him.

"Removing all traces of two people's time together," Haru sighed, taking Rin's hand and pulling her along behind him. "That's a lot of work to do."

One by one, the remaining Jyuunishi followed Yuki until only Kazuma, Hatori, Kyou and Tohru remained. "Let's get this over with," Kyou growled turning back to Hatori.

"I am really sorry it had to come to this, Kyou," Kazuma said, watching as Hatori removed Tohru from the neko's grasp and had her kneel on the floor. Coming to the floor next to her, Kazuma loosely embraced the teenage girl speaking softly to her. "Thank you for everything, I am in your debt forever."

"Eh?...I…uh…no! Shishou-san has done so much for me," Tohru replied, shaking her head rapidly in denial as he got back to his feet and stood beside Kyou. "Without your help, I couldn't have done all that I have."

"Honda-kun, this will go real quick," Hatori said, coming to kneel across from her.

Tohru nodded quietly before looking up at Kyou. When their eyes connected, Kyou broke away from Kazuma's side and moved toward her. "Wait!" Kyou cried, as Hatori placed a hand on her forehead. "No! Not yet!" Slowly, she fell to the floor as Kyou dove across to catch her before she hit the ground.

"Sorry Kyou, we have to get this all finished quickly. We have two lives to rearrange before you both wake up," Kazuma said, watching as his son cradled Tohru as close as he could without transforming.

"I changed my mind! I wanted to say goodbye…oh god…it didn't hurt her did it?" Brushing her hair away from her cheeks, Kyou pressed a kiss to her cheek as tears swelled in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Tohru. I am so sorry for getting you in the middle of this. This shouldn't have ever happened. I'm so sorry."

Kyou continued to rain kisses over her face as he repeatedly mumbled apologies to her. "It didn't hurt her at all," Hatori commented; getting to his feet as Kyou wiped tears away from his face. The neko's grip on Tohru never loosened, still occasionally pressing his lips to her forehead as he focused on the tatsu. "She's just sleeping, in the morning she'll be settled in her new life. In order to do this, I had to remove everyone with the name Sohma…it will be like you never met. I've never had to remove someone so deeply intertwined with us before, so I had to make it so we don't exist to her. Even though you went to school together, were in the same class, and even lived together—it will be as if you weren't ever there to her. I've never done this to another Jyuunishi though…"

Reaching in his yukata, Kazuma pulled out three envelopes from within before walking to Kyou's side and dropping them at his feet. "Pick one." Kyou just looked at him in confusion. "It's your future, Kyou. I always hoped you would somehow get your freedom, so I planned for it. Three schools…three scholarships…between your grades and athletic ability you don't even have to take Sohma money to do it."

Kyou's face turned red, his rage quickly swelling to the surface. "_Now?_" he sputtered, staring back at Kazuma "You want me to do this _now_? Shishou! It's not like I'll remember any of it anyway, just ask me tomorrow."

"Nope, we have to have this done now," Hatori answered. "Pick a school, Kyou. We have two lives to rewrite tonight. We start with giving you a choice."

"A choice? The only choice I ever wanted, I can't have!" Kyou screamed, tears swelling in his eyes again. "What's so important about picking a school? Where's Tohru gonna go? Where's she going to have 'been' these years you've erased? What if…last night…I…she…we…" he shook his head; face paling as he slowly brushed the hair out of her face. His hands shook as he whispered, "Oh god…what have I done?"

"We'll keep an eye on her Kyou," Kazuma answered. "We won't just leave her to fend for herself. If we come to that bridge, we'll cross it."

"How the hell will you do that? She's gonna think it's a friggen immaculate conception, Shishou!" Kyou yelled back. "How are you gonna explain that it's not? Would you really let me go through my life not letting me help raise my own kid?"

"Well…it hasn't even been twenty-four hours yet," Hatori commented, picking up the letters and holding them out to the neko. "There are things we can give her…"

"No!" Kyou growled, hunching over her protectively as he blocked her from the tatsu. "She'd never want that…I couldn't let you do that…"

"Then trust us when we say we will handle that if it comes up," Hatori answered, shoving the letters directly in the neko's face as he knelt down next to the teens. "_Pick one!_"

"You would both be great parents, Kyou," Kazuma answered, coming to stand next to him. "You're getting ahead of yourself though. Pick a school and we can get started rebuilding your life."

With a sigh, Kyou grabbed the envelopes from Hatori and pulled the papers out one by one. Lifting a brow in surprise at the contents; "Physical Education Major and a Business minor?"

"Well, you can change those if you want…" Kazuma chuckled.

"No, I just never thought about what I wanted to do beyond being with Tohru…" Kyou replied looking at her carefully before handing one of the envelopes back to him. "That's the one."

"Hmm…I was right, close to home," he said, handing the envelope to Hatori. "We knew she'd come for you…trust our judgment. If Jyuunishi _are_ breaking the bond, we intend to put as much strain on yours until it snaps as well."

"_Wha?_"

"Akito said you were not to remember meeting Honda-kun," Hatori commented, putting his hand on Kyou's forehead. "You won't remember _meeting_ her, but Akito doesn't know your history. If you meet her in the future, she won't know who you are and you won't remember your time together."

Kyou's eyes widened in shock, "I'll know--"

"Exactly," Hatori interrupted. "So don't mess it up the second time around."

In a cloud of smoke, Kyou collapsed on Tohru as Hatori moved away from the pair. Kazuma watched Hatori pull a pack of cigarette's and a cell phone out of his pocket. Scrolling through the names in the phone, Hatori finally found the one he was looking for and hit the send button. Pulling out a cigarette, the doctor lit it as he waited for the person on the other line to answer. "Mayuko? Yeah, it went smoothly…he picked the one we thought he would…"

Kazuma watched as Tohru wrapped her arms around the orange cat, holding him tightly to her as the neko relaxed in her grasp. They hadn't had much time to prepare, it was only hours ago that he'd gotten the phone call from Hatori once Kyou had left the office. Things had unfolded better than expected; he only hoped everything else went as smooth.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Yuki flung the door open, smiling at the pair on the other side. "I knew something was wrong," Saki said, stepping past him without waiting to be invited inside. She paused just past the threshold before turning to him with an expression of suspicion on her face. "The house is filled with those strange Sohma waves, is there a family reunion? Why is Tohru-kun not here?"

"_Wha?_ Tohru's not even here?" Arisa asked, looking past him to see Momiji balancing a large pile of clothing. "Oi! Whattya doing with Tohru's clothes? What the hell is going on in here?"

"Yuki! You will _never _guess what I found in Kyonkichi's room!"

Taking a deep breath, Yuki turned to his brother before patiently replying, "I gave you a simple job, Nii-san."

"Yes, Yuki you did. But as the best brother in the world I was working hard and just hit the jackpot!" Slinking an arm around his shoulders, Ayame shoved a large leather book in his hands. "I just found Kyonkichi's love poem diary."

"Are you serious?" Arisa laughed, snatching it away from Yuki's hands before he could even look to see what it was.

"Well…it's not _really_ a love poem diary," Ayame went on moving his attention to Tohru's friends. "It's probably the closest thing that we will find to one though. I must admit I am surprised that this is the only thing I have found in his room so far. Anyway, back to work with me!"

Arisa shook her head in surprise as the hebi scampered away, quickly flipping through the pages one at a time. "Hell…this is borderline obsessive…" she laughed, closing the book and handing it to Yuki. "Every picture in there is of Tohru in some way. We knew he liked her but this is hilarious."

"Sohma Kyou is not here either…" Saki commented, walking further into the house. "There is a strong aura of sadness in the house. Why was he not at graduation today? Where are Tohru-kun and Sohma Kyou right now?"

"Yun-chan?" Kagura yelled from the stairs. "What are we going to do with Tohru-kun's bed?"

"What the hell is going on here?" Arisa demanded, obviously hearing something break upstairs that was followed by Ritsu's sudden apologies to the world for his existence.

"I don't understand why that stupid cat couldn't just bring in his own sheets tomorrow morning," Hiro growled, carrying a basket of clothing that Tohru had washed earlier that day and put on the line. "Why are they making us do it? This is just stupid."

"Some of the clothing is Onee-chan's, Hiro-chan," Kisa replied, following behind him as the pair walked past them and headed up the stairs to meet the others.

"This might take awhile," Yuki placed the book on the end table near the door, leading them further into the house as he thought about the best way to explain things.

"_Yun-chan! _The _bed?_" Kagura yelled again.

"Don't worry about it right now, Kagura," he screamed back, as the door slid open down the hall. Surprised, he turned to see Hatori holding the door open as wide as it would go. "Okay…maybe the explanations won't be so hard," He muttered, watching as Shihan carried Tohru into the house as she cuddled an orange cat.

"Tohru-kun?" Saki whispered as her and Arisa followed Kazuma into the living room.

Yuki followed behind them, meeting two pairs of feet as they reached the landing. "Is she alright?" Haru asked as Rin ran into the living room leaving them in the hallway. "Rin's so angry at everyone right now; she kicked everyone out of Honda-san's room. Said she'd do it all by herself, that they didn't know what they were looking for."

Yuki turned to look in the living room, where Arisa, Saki and Rin huddled around Kazuma as Hatori created a makeshift bed for the pair to rest. "I still have some explaining to do; I haven't had a chance to do any yet. Can you make sure everyone keeps working while I do this?"

"Sure," Haru replied. "You're handling this well, Yuki."

"It's either this or a nervous breakdown…" he replied, heading into the living room.

"What the hell happened to her?" Arisa demanded, as Kazuma settled Tohru on the blankets Hatori had set out. "What's with the cat? She won't let go of it!"

"Arisa, the cat is Sohma Kyou," Saki replied, stopping Yuki in his tracks several steps away from them.

"_Wha?_ That's not even funny, Hanajima!"

"It's the truth," Yuki said, coming up behind them. "Kyou transforms into a cat when he's embraced. He'll change back sometime soon after we separate them, but I'd rather just leave them like that."

"Shit…you're serious…" Arisa said, leaning over to get a closer look at Kyou. "It's got his exact hair color…"

"Eyes too, you would be able to tell if you could see," Kazuma added.

"Do you all transform into cats?" Saki asked, before looking at Kazuma. "Your waves have always been different from the other Sohma's I have met."

"No, I don't transform," Kazuma answered, chuckling.

"No…" Rin answered, getting to her knees to inspect Tohru closer. "The rest of us are zodiac animals. He's the rat."

"There's no cat in the zodiac," Arisa said.

"Which would be why he's the outcast," Hatori answered. "We don't have much time and a lot to get done. We have to have Honda-kun settled into her new life by morning. That means; we have to figure out where she's been these last few years and where she is going from here."

"Wait!" Arisa said, looking at Yuki in confusion. "What the hell happened tonight?"

"Well…like Hatori said…we don't have much time…" Yuki said; backing away a little as both of Tohru's friends glared at him. "But to make a long story short, which I will explain in full detail in the next few days…Tohru bargained to save Kyou's life. In the process she got her memories erased by Hatori."

"What memories were erased?" Saki asked, pulling her black hair over her shoulder as she leaned down to brush Tohru's hair from her face.

"Kyou…Yuki…any knowledge of the Sohma family," Hatori answered. "I had to remove Kyou's memories of Honda-kun as well. He will remember going to school with the two of you, but not her."

"Do you know what you've done?" Arisa yelled, tears forming in her eyes. "She adores these idiots! All of them, especially _that_ idiot!" She pointed to Kyou as the tears slid down her cheeks. "You can't just _take_ that away from her!"

"I did it!" A breathless voice said from the doorway. "I don't know how…but I did."

Yuki looked up in shock, watching as Shiraki-sensai walked across the room and handed a large yellow envelope to Hatori. "Did you run the whole way here, Mayuko?" Hatori said, smiling as he stared at the envelope.

"Sensei?" Arisa and Saki said in surprise, looking at Yuki for answers. He could only shrug; he had no idea why their teacher was there.

"Hello, girls," she answered before turning back to Hatori. "You owe me for this, but I got it all done. Every bit of it! Not that the sizable donation you dropped didn't help…"

"I figured it might help," Hatori chuckled, as she turned to the pair on the floor. She leaned forward and petted the top of Kyou's head quickly. "He'd probably have your hand if he was awake, you know that right?"

"Yes, he's never been too fond of me," she laughed. "He makes a cute cat though. I always liked watching Honda and him…it's a shame it had to come to this."

His head was spinning, watching their teacher fuss over his cousin and Tohru. He had no idea how she knew Hatori or what she was even doing there. Apparently, she knew something about the curse but he didn't know how or why. Yuki just stared at the scene in front of him, speechless.

"Mayu-chan! Mayu-chan! I thought I heard the voice of Hatori's Mayu-chan!" Ayame yelled, running into the room.

That was the final straw for the nezumi, "What the _hell_ is going on? How do you even know her?"

Ayame stopped in front of him, placing a finger over his mouth. "We don't have time to tell you that now," he answered. "She's been our friend long before she was ever your teacher, leave it at that."

"But why is she here?" he demanded, clenching his fists tightly as he suddenly felt out of the loop of whatever was happening.

"I'm not sure," Ayame answered, turning toward the trio in the corner flipping through papers from the envelope. "Mayu-chan, why are you here?"

"Simple," Hatori answered, showing something in one of the papers to Kazuma. "She's planning Honda-kun's future."

_I do not own Fruits Basket or the characters affiliated with the Manga and Anime. They are the property of Natsuki Takaya…I am just 'borrowing' them for my own nefarious deeds. I own nothing, suing me won't help anyone._

_Sari-15_


	4. Tabula Rasa

**Tabula Rasa**

Chapter Four

"We should be leaving now, Kyoko-san."

"Grandpa, that's Tohru!"

Biting her lip, Tohru gave her grandfather a hug before her Aunt and cousin's impatience dragged him away from her. "I'll visit you soon, Grandpa! I promise!" Besides Hana-chan and Uo-chan, he was all that she had left now. Since her mother died at the beginning her of first year of high school, she'd been living with him in his house. Except for the couple of months she spent living alone in a tent as the remodeling was done, she'd never had to fend for herself. Tohru worked hard and tried to help around the house as much as she could, it had been rough in the beginning and she never seemed to do anything right in her aunt's eyes but she'd done what she'd set out to do.

She'd graduated high school without any problems, just like she promised her mom she would. She'd never hoped to continue her schooling past high school. Tohru had fully expected to join the workforce and make a life for herself after graduation, so finding herself _here_ was pretty frightening. Mayuko-sensei had arrived the morning after graduation, apologizing about submitting her name for some scholarships and saying she hated such talent going to waste. Tohru's grades weren't the best, but they had been decent and apparently enough that she'd been offered a full ride scholarship as long as she maintained a certain grade point average toward her Social Work degree.

Her Grandfather had been so proud of her, telling her the degree would let her make a difference in others lives. Mayuko-sensei had agreed, saying her compassion and helpfulness would be a big asset in the field. It had taken Tohru a few days to decide, but when Uo heard she had reservations, she promised to be there for her and enrolled that day. Hana followed suit later that week, Tohru wasn't sure how she'd passed the entrance exam without missing a single one, but she had.

So all three of them were entering college together!

Since they all registered so late, they had only been able to get Hana and Uo in a room together down the hall from Tohru. She was nervous about making new friends and being on her own, but she'd survived four months living in a tent! Surely, college wouldn't be so bad. She'd shared a room with her cousin for the past couple of years, so living with a roommate shouldn't be too hard.

Looking through the boxes, she knew she had a lot to unpack still and her side of the room was completely bare. Her roommate looked like she had gotten herself settled in already, books already set up on the desk and her bed made. It looked like she hadn't brought much more than Tohru had, there wasn't anything like pictures or knickknacks sitting on the desk. Tohru noticed how tidy everything was; although she was extremely clean herself, it rather intimated her. She hoped that they would get along. Maybe they could even become friends.

Placing the picture of her mother on the corner of her desk, Tohru smiled at it. "I made it, Mom!" she whispered to the frame. "Can you believe I am in college now? I never thought I would be here! I wish you were here so you could see this! It's so exciting!"

Turning back to the lone box she'd packed, she pulled out an old picture of her with Hana and Uo and placed it next to the one of her mother. Next she pulled out a scorched red cap, it had blown out of her tent one of the nights she'd been living in the woods and landed in the fire. Luckily, she'd saved it in time before the damage had gotten too bad. There was a large hole in the fabric where it had burned, but the remainder of the cap had been salvageable.

The last real item she'd brought from home that hadn't been an essential was her Jyuunishi set. She'd purchased it on her school trip during her second year, but for some reason it hadn't felt complete until she'd made a little cat to match the rest of the set. She'd always loved the story her mother had told her as a child, she'd always wanted to be the year of the cat. She'd finally taken the time and made a little cat out of papier-mâché two weeks ago and painted it bright orange to complete her set.

"Tohru!"

Turning around in surprise, she found her friends standing in the doorway watching her. "Uo! Hana! I am so glad to see you! Did you find your room? Are you settled in? I would be glad to help you!"

Arisa smiled, "You just worry about yourself first. You look like you're almost all settled in already."

"Yes!" she replied, running her hand along her comforter to smooth the wrinkles out of it. "I...I haven't met my roomate yet though. She looks like she's extremely tidy...I hope I am not a bother to her."

"Tohru, you could never be a bother to anyone," Hana replied, stepping forward to pull her into a tight embrace. "You'll get along just fine with whoever your roommate is. I think she will grow to adore you as much as we do."

"I...I don't know, Hana-chan," Tohru stuttered, making her way back to her desk to arrange the Jyuunishi set. "I haven't had many friends besides Uo-chan and Hana-chan. Momiji-kun's my friend, but I haven't known him that long. He said the same thing that you did...that my roommate would be the lucky one to get to live with me."

She blushed, thinking about Sohma Momiji as she placed the rabbit next to the dragon in her set. He'd been so nice to her these past couple of weeks. She'd met him at work about a month ago, right after graduation and he'd been by her side almost non-stop since that day. A year younger than her, Momiji-kun's father apparently owned the building she worked in and had visited Tohru almost every day that she worked. She'd stopped working to get ready for school about a week ago, he'd come to her house to check on her and took her out to get some ices.

Although she was embarrassed to think about it, Tohru thought that Momiji might have a little crush on her..., which surprised her. Tall, blond and gorgous, she couldn't understand why he wanted to spend so much time with her but she enjoyed his company. He was one of the kindest people she'd ever met...

"Listen to him, Tohru," Uo said, pulling her out of the room by a hand.

"Yes, his waves are good," Hana added, taking her other hand as they exited the room.

"He said he has family that's going here," Tohru added excitedly as she looked back and forth between the two of them. "I wonder what they are like! I hope they are as kind as Momiji-kun."

"Sohma Yuki," Hana said, smiling as a beautiful grey haired boy exited the stairwell onto the floor. "I wondered if you would be joining us."

"Tohru, meet the Prince," Uo said, laughing as the young man gave her a slight glare at the introduction. "Prince, this is Tohru. I believe she's friends with your cousin, Momiji."

"You're Momiji-kun's cousin?" Tohru cried, excited that she'd met him so quickly. Rapidly bowing her head to him, Tohru couldn't help when she started babbling about her latest friend. "Sohma-san, I am so happy to meet you! Momiji-kun said I might get to meet some of his relatives, I just didn't think I would be able to meet you so quickly. He's been such a good friend to me these past few weeks, I am so happy!"

"Please, call me Yuki. You've met Momiji, Honda-kun?" Yuki said, looking at Uo and Hana with surprise before focusing his attention back on Tohru.

"Oh! Tohru's fine!" She said, nodding her head with excitement. "Yes, I worked in Momiji-kun's father's building and I met him there a few weeks ago!"

"I'm not surprised..." Yuki muttered, before giving Tohru a big smile. "Are you all settled in your room, Tohru-kun?"

"I think so..." she said, biting her lip. "I haven't met my roommate yet and I still need to go pick up my books from the bookstore before class starts, but I am ready to handle anything."

"Calm down, Tohru," Uo said, placing a hand on her head to soothe her fears. "Everything will go fine, just you see."

"It is close to dinner," Hana said, looking around the empty hallway. "Perhaps we should find ourselves something to eat."

"Hana...you're always hungry," Uo laughed, turning toward the hallway door that Yuki had just come from. "But I agree; I'm starved! If I was any hungrier I would probably kill someone!"

"We have company," Hana said, stopping as the door flung open from the other side. Surprised, Tohru watched as an orange haired boy stared back at her, his eyes a startling shade of maroon. Although not nearly as attractive as Yuki-kun, his appeal was something much more primitive and for some reason the sight of him made Tohru's stomach fill with butterflies.

He spared her nothing more than a cursory glance before moving onto the rest of the people standing with Tohru. "I thought I told you to stay the hell away from me!" he growled, glaring furiously at Yuki-kun. "I don't know why the hell you had to come here, but you can't even leave me alone for a day! Get the hell off my floor!"

"I can go where I want, stupid cat," Yuki replied. "I forgot how much a pain in the ass you are…"

The kid threw what appeared to be his gym bag on the ground, scowling as he stormed toward Yuki-kun. "Damn, you are the biggest asshole ever, I swear!" Tohru watched as the newcomer, someone about a half a head taller, probably a good thirty pounds heavier, and wearing a _martial arts_ uniform headed toward Yuki-kun—obviously intending to fight the smaller man. Yuki-kun, with his lithe frame and elegant features didn't stand a chance against the likes of this guy!

'_I've got to do something!'_ she panicked, rushing forward to stop the man from attacking her new friend. "Don't! You'll hurt him!" she cried, placing herself in front of Yuki-kun, intending to stop the newcomer from attacking him, even if she got hurt in the process.

She hadn't been fast enough though and instead of coming between them, she got ran into by the man, knocking both of them to the floor as he fell on top of her. To her surprise, a cloud of smoke emerged blocking her vision as the man lost what little hold he'd had left on his temper. "You and your god damned girls! You have a friggen fan club _here_ already? This is just fucking great! Look at what the hell you did, kuso nezumi! Damn it! Now Hanajima and Uotani know now!"

She'd expected to be crushed since he'd fallen on her, but to her surprise it didn't even feel like the flame haired man had landed on her at all. The smoke started to clear a little, and she watched as a cat with the exact shade of hair that the man had walked away from everyone. "Ah! Um!" she stuttered, staring after him as he walked away. _'What just happened? Is that...him?'_

"He wouldn't have hurt me at all," Yuki replied, giving her a smile as he helped her to her feet.

"Screw you!" the cat yelled, turning around to glare at Yuki. Tohru noticed his eyes were the same shade as they'd been earlier as well. "I've beat you before! You know I have!"

"Baka Neko, it doesn't count if you can't remember it happening."

The cat took two steps toward him, before growling and storming away into a nearby room, slamming the door behind him. "I...uh..." Tohru stuttered, her face turning red as she realized the cat had just shut himself in _her_ room. "That's...ummm..."

"Kyon's got issues," Uo laughed, patting Yuki on the back.

"You don't need to tell _me_ that," Yuki sighed, rubbing his temples. "I've had a migraine for a month straight. There hasn't been a day of rest, I am just glad he was living back at Shishou's the whole time."

"He left his clothes behind," Hana said, depositing them in Tohru's arms.

"_Clothes?_ I...um...did he just turn into a...he's a _cat_!" Tohru cried, looking at everyone in surprise, wondering why they weren't as shocked as she was.

"That's Sohma Kyou, another of our cousins," Yuki said, coming up next to her and giving her a little nudge toward the door. "Since that's your room, I nominate you to go give him his clothes back. He should be changing back any moment now and he'll need those, otherwise he'll have nothing to wear."

"_Eh? _He...? Why do I have to be the one to give his clothes back?" she said quietly, her face burning with embarrassment. "I don't even know him!"

"Yeah, but he knows us," Uo replied. "He won't come near the door if any of us try. I can't imagine you want a naked man in your room when your roommate gets back."

_'Naked?'_ A quiet pop within the room and a puff of smoke beneath the door made Tohru's eyes widen as she realized what just happened. "Oh no! He turned back!" she screeched, quickly looking between Hana and Uo for help.

Neither would even make eye contact with her. Sighing in defeat, Tohru walked up to the door and knocked. "Go away!" Kyou yelled from inside.

"I...um...pardon me, Sohma-san," Tohru bit her lip and quickly looked back at her friends. All of them had encouraging smiles on their faces; Uo even looked ready to bust out laughing. Taking a deep breath, Tohru tried again. "I...uh...you left your...c...clothes, Sohma-san."

She heard a small growl before the door cracked open and a dark maroon eye looked back at her. His hand reached out and snatched the clothes from her grasp before the door slammed shut in her face. A quiet click indicated he'd locked her out...of her own room. "I...um...you don't have to hurry, just let me know when you are finished."

"I thought I told you to get the hell away from me!" he yelled through the door.

Tohru yelped in surprise, biting her lip again as she backed a few steps away from the door. _'He hates me! I just met him and he hates me! Not that I should be surprised because I just turned him into a _cat_, but I've never had anyone _hate _me before!' _"I...I'm so sorry! I didn't mean--"

"Oh stop that!" Uo chided, grabbing the key to the room from Tohru's pocket. "You have five seconds Kyon! Four...Three...Two..." On one Arisa shoved the key into the door and turned, flinging the door open. "Times up!"

"Get the hell outta my room, Yankee!" He screamed, turning around the glare at everyone standing in the doorway. "What'd you do pick the lock?"

Tohru's face flushed, completing missing his words as she stood staring at him. Wearing a pair of sweatpants, he hadn't put a shirt on yet and she couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from him. He caught her staring at him, which just made her cheeks heat even more. _'Oh! I am so embarrassed!'_

"No, I used the key," Uo replied, grinning at Kyou as she dropped the key in Tohru's hand. "This is _her_ room."

"Like _hell_ it is!" Kyou growled, dragging a white tee-shirt over his head. "I've been living here for a week already cause of practice! They wouldn't put a girl and a boy in the same room together, you idiot!"

"Y-you? This is _your_ room?" Tohru cried, looking around his side of the room in a panic. "I'm sorry! I probably made a mistake and came to the wrong room."

"No, there was probably just an error in the office," Yuki sighed, placing his hand on her shoulder to calm her down. "You have a key; this is where your room assignment is."

"This is just my fucking luck," Kyou growled, dragging his shoes on his feet as he shoved past them, storming out the door. "I'm not rooming with a girl; I'll go home before _that_ happens! I'm gonna go straighten this shit out!" Tohru watched as he left, trying not to cry as the day was quickly turning into one of the worst she'd had in a long time.

"You should probably go with him, Tohru-kun." Hana said, giving her a little shove out the door after the retreating neko. "Make sure what you both decide is something that you are happy with."

Taking a deep breath, Tohru nodded before heading out of the room and chasing after the neko down the stairwell near their room. The experience had obviously shaken up the onigiri, but Saki found herself quite in awe of the planners of this little twist for the pair.

"Oh man! I was not expecting that!" Arisa laughed as soon as Tohru was out of earshot, rushing to the window facing the front of the building to watch the couple as they left the dorm. "Who the hell thought of this? Kyon was pissed!"

"Hatori said they would get them in as close proximity as possible," Yuki said, following Arisa to watch Tohru try to catch up to Kyou as he stormed for the housing department. "I didn't expect this though. I don't know if I like this…"

"She'll be fine," Saki replied, pressing the latch to the window up so she could push it open. "His heart recognizes her. They both had a little shock today; their waves reacted the same way when they saw each other today as they did in those final few months together. Since neither of them remembers those feelings, it was like love at first sight for both of them."

"Yeah, I saw the way he was looking at her," Arisa said. "I've never seen Kyon check out a girl before, it was hilarious. Honestly, if it wasn't for the way he'd been so absorbed in Tohru, I would have doubted he even liked girls when we were in high school. He'd never even looked at Tohru like that before."

"I just worry that she will be able to last the first few days with him," Yuki said, walking over to Tohru's desk and shaking his head at the Jyuunishi set on it. "He really was mean to her those first few days; I'm not sure what changed to make him actually be nice to her." Picking up the cat, he showed it to the girls. "I thought we packed the cat away."

"We did," Saki answered, taking a moment to make her connection with Tohru's waves. "Tohru thought that it didn't seem complete without the cat, so she made a new one a few days later. The cat has always been her favorite part of the zodiac fable; I am not surprised she created a new one."

"Dang, he looks tense as hell," Arisa laughed, still watching from the window. "I bet she's still calling him 'Sohma-san'. I just wanted to bust out laughing when she did that."

"It irritates him," Saki replied, tuning into his waves as well. Once completed, she headed for the door. "I don't think he knows why though."

"Why did she paint it orange?" Yuki asked, still staring at the cat.

"Call it intuition," Saki answered, opening the door to the room. "I am ready to eat. They will be awhile, I am sure."

"Maybe she's just always wanted her own orange kitty," Arisa laughed, taking the cat from Yuki's hand and placing it back in its spot with the rest of the zodiac. "So when Kyon came along it was fate!"

"I may just faint of hunger," Saki said, walking out the door.

"Yeah, we're coming," Arisa replied, shoving Yuki after Hanajima as they headed for the stairwell. "You won't starve."

Reaching for the stairwell door, Saki paused as a rush of waves attacked her, making her knees give out beneath her. _'What is going on?'_ she wondered as Arisa grabbed her arm. "I am fine, Arisa."

"Are you sure? What just happened?"

"I think I am just hungry," she lied, getting to her feet again. "I am sure I will feel better after a full stomach."

"Okay…" Arisa answered doubtfully, following her into the stairwell.

Unwilling to pry on something so personal, Saki cut her connections with the couple and tried to focus on what she would get for dinner instead. She would force herself to enjoy her dinner, even if her thoughts were elsewhere.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Definition from Wikipedia

**_Tabula rasa_** (Latin: "scraped tablet", though often translated "blank slate ") is the notion that individual human beings are born "blank" (with no built-in mental content), and that their identity is defined entirely by events after birth.

_I do not own Fruits Basket or the characters affiliated with the Manga and Anime. They are the property of Natsuki Takaya…I am just 'borrowing' them for my own nefarious deeds. I own nothing, suing me won't help anyone._

_Sari-15_


	5. Oversight

**Oversight**

Chapter Five

Furious, Kyou quickly soared down the flight of stairs, hearing the soft footfalls hitting the steps as his 'roommate' quickly followed in his wake. _'Just my damned luck,'_ he thought to himself, slamming the door to the first floor open and not caring if the girl followed him or not.

'_No,'_ he thought. _'I want her to follow so we can get this shit sorted out.'_ The last few minutes had been some of the oddest in his life, and he blamed Shishou for that. If his father hadn't mentioned the fact that having his freedom could give him an opportunity to reach for dreams he'd never had a chance to think about, he wouldn't be having the damned thoughts about that girl that he did.

Slowing down slightly, so that girl could catch up a little but still not reach him because he didn't want to deal with her yet. He'd probably looked like the biggest ass in the world anyway, not that he cared or wanted her to like him. "It's just what Shishou said," he growled to himself quietly. "The first new girl I meet and suddenly I'm as perverted as the damned inu. Shishou's just got me thinking about things I shouldn't be."

Not wanting to show any weakness in front of that damned Yuki, he'd forced himself to tear his eyes away from hers as soon as he started thinking about needing to see her smile, wanting to hear her laugh. Girls never interested him before, he found them annoying, useless and nothing but a pain. Uotani and Hanajima, he wasn't even sure how he'd become friends with them. They'd just been there and he hadn't minded it, they annoyed the hell outta him but weren't like the rest of the girls.

He hadn't been able to take his eyes of that girl for long though, he found his eyes straying to her all to often in those minutes. "Figures, she's a damned Yuki fan girl already," he growled, making his way down the hill.

"Sohma-san! Wait!"

It sent chills up his spine, those words coming off her mouth bothered him to the point that he'd been tempted to grab her by the shoulders and scream at her to just call him Kyou. He hated formality to begin with, he didn't deserve respect from people when he rarely gave any out to others. This was different though, his entire being reacted with disgust at those words coming from her. He needed to keep his distance though, giving her permission to call him by his given name would make things too intimate when he just needed to get her out of his room.

Making his way to the housing department, Kyou yanked the door open and stormed inside. The girl had almost caught up with him, grabbing the door just before it shut in her face before entering the building as well. Kyou didn't even acknowledge the secretary, just slammed his way into the office without a word.

"Ah! I am so sorry," he heard the girl say as she passed the secretary and entered the room behind him.

The man at the desk inside looked up in surprise as they entered. "You fucked up," Kyou growled, storming to his desk. "You threw me in a room with a girl!"

"I…?" the man looked at Kyou…then the girl…then back to Kyou again. "There must be a mistake, I wouldn't put…I wouldn't put a male in a room with a female."

"Does she _look_ like a boy to you?" Kyou yelled, placing his hands on the desk and pointed a finger at the girl biting her lip nervously in the corner. "Maybe you need your eyes checked!"

"No! No…" the man replied. "I can see clearly that she's not a boy. I need to know your names so I can get your paperwork and see where the error was made at."

"Sohma Kyou," he growled, turning away from the desk to glare out the window at the trees just outside.

The man got to his feet and headed to a shelf as he searched for Kyou's file, finding the proper folder he placed it on his desk. "What is your name, miss?"

"Hon-Honda…Honda Tohru," she managed to get out.

Kyou's stomach dropped as a strong wave of nausea hit him; his entire body froze at the name. _'No! It can't be her…'_ He knew it was though; fate gave him freedom only to throw the one thing that would disrupt his life in his path to remind him what a monster he really was. He'd been trying to get over that part of his life, at least try to forget about it but here was a message telling him loud and clear that he wouldn't be allowed to put the past behind him. Claustrophobia settled in as the walls closed in around him, he couldn't run…he couldn't even run. _'Get me outta here…damn it! Move!'_

"Ah…that's an unusual name for a girl," the man commented, searching for her file on the wall. "I've never had this happen before…but I am afraid I am in a little problematic position…" Pulling her file, the man opened it and shook his head sadly. "It appears that someone thought because of your name…that you were in fact male and didn't double check their facts."

"Oh! I…um…I'm sorry I caused so much confusion," she said quietly. The tone of her voice led Kyou to believe that she thought she was to blame for the error, which he knew was the school's incompetence—not hers.

"No! I am so sorry about this. There's just a slight problem, we had a rash of last minute registrations…and that leaves us with no rooms to move you around to."

"Don't worry about it," Kyou sighed, dragging a hand through his hair in frustration. "I'll just move back to the dojo…"

"No! I can't let you do that," Tohru cried, grabbing his arm. "The error had nothing to do with you, Sohma-san. This is my fault."

"Well, the two of you discuss what you want to do," the man said. "Just let me know if one of you decides to move out so I can credit your account accordingly."

Kyou nodded, pulling away from her as he slowly headed for the door. The place she held him still absorbing the warmth from her touch, he sighed figuring that he was being punished for everything he'd done wrong in his life. He should have known who she was at first sight; he'd always wanted to hear her laugh.

That hadn't changed.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

He'd picked up the phone the instant they'd returned to their room. Tohru tried not to be hurt by the entire thing, but he still hadn't said a word to her since leaving the office. That he wanted out of the room that badly, she didn't blame him. She couldn't help but feel that she was the one that should do the leaving though. It was an error with her paperwork, not his.

"It doesn't matter, Shishou!...No, I don't find it as amusing as you do!"

'_This entire day has just been strange,'_ she thought. Reaching over to her desk, she grabbed the picture frame of her mother's photograph and held it tightly to her, wanting some comfort. She noticed Kyou watching her, but when she made eye contact he turned away from her and faced the wall.

"Shishou, you don't understand…no…that's not…," he sighed, burying a hand in his fiery hair. "Honda…her name is Honda Tohru…"

She hugged the picture frame a little tighter.

"What? Shishou! No!" He yelled, getting to his feet. "You can't…but…_Shishou! Shishou!_"

Tohru flinched as Kyou slammed the phone back on the receiver. She didn't want to ask how it had gone, because it was obvious her roommate was not happy about what transpired on the phone call. "I…I am sure…Grandpa will let me…"

"Good for me, my ass," He grumbled, grabbing his shoes and storming out of the room. The room shook slightly from him slamming the door behind him. Tohru just stared after him for a minute afterwards.

"I should call Grandpa," she said to herself, getting to her feet and picking up the phone. Dialing the familiar number, he answered on the third ring. "Grandpa? It's Tohru."

"Ah! How is college, Kyoko-san?"

"Um…it's…it's okay…I met my roommate finally…" Tohru managed to say, trying not to cry. "There…there was a little problem with my…my paperwork. They…they put me in a room with a boy…"

"Oh? That's interesting," he commented. "I bet he's nice."

"Grandpa? I feel really bad…he really doesn't want me here," she managed to choke back a slight sob from escaping. "I…I think I sh…should come back to stay with you."

"Is that what you want?"

"I…I'm not sure. I just know he's not happy having me here," Tohru sighed. "I can't push myself on someone. He doesn't like me…"

"Just be yourself," Grandpa replied. "Sometimes the best things take time and effort. You'll see, in time all will be fine. I have faith in you. Have a good evening, Kyoko-san."

Tohru listened as the line went dead, leaving her completely alone in the quiet of the room. The sun had finished going down while she was on the phone, leaving her in darkness. She checked the clock, it was seven…the dining hall had closed a while ago. _'I wonder of Sohma-san got something to eat?'_ Something told her he hadn't made it to the dinner in time either.

There was a kitchen in the basement if people needed to cook their own food, Tohru figured she'd make herself something to eat and bring him some too. She didn't bring a lot of supplies with her, but she had enough ingredients for some rice balls. That should fill them until breakfast at least.

Gathering the food, she made her way to the basement so she could get the rice cooked. They wouldn't be very fancy since she hadn't brought any fish or other items yet, but they would do. She'd have to remind herself to run to the market in the next couple of days.

Putting the rice on the burner, Tohru wondered how living with Sohma-san would be. It was an arrangement that was sure to raise eyebrows, but really it seemed like they weren't left with any other choice. They were stuck together unless they could find a different solution. _'I can make the most of this situation! I lived by myself in a tent for four months! I can live with a boy that hates me!'_ Tohru sighed, checking the rice with a fork. "I can't believe he hates me!"

Suddenly completely depressed, Tohru stared at the rice, watching as it finished cooking. Once the grains were perfect, she pulled it off the burner and carried it back to her room with a pair of oven mitts. "Sohma-san?" she said, opening the door and searching the room to see if her roommate had returned yet.

The room was still empty.

Taking a seat on her bed, she placed the pot of rice next to her and started shaping onigiri. _'Maybe when I am done, I will have someone to share them with,'_ she thought as she placed the first one on the plate.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Kyou had been sitting there for hours, first watching as the sun set, and then watching as the stars came out. Finally, he'd earned his freedom from Akito although he was still cursed and maintained the bond. He'd somehow beaten that damned Yuki, though he didn't know how or when. No one had been too willing to talk about it when he'd asked them. His life had been moving in a direction where he'd thought he'd finally be happy.

He didn't have a life of living in a single room looming over his head anymore, he'd get to live on the outside from this point on. He'd gotten a scholarship to a college, something he'd never even allowed himself to dream about until now. He was living outside the Sohma cage for the first time in his life.

The future was something he found himself looking forward to experiencing. It wasn't filled with fear, dread and loneliness anymore. The last month had been one of the best in his life; he'd graduated high school and gotten prepared to live on his own at college. Everything was perfect, until he'd found out Yuki had decided to change schools, attending the same one as Kyou.

It seemed suspicious, that the nezumi would transfer so close to the start of the school year. The reason he gave seemed sound enough, Kyou knew he'd been attached to one of the girls in his student council and she wasn't finished with high school yet. Though Kyou did think Yuki was stupid for changing his life around for a girl, he found it more irritating that he'd be attending the same school as the rat, again.

That probably should have been his first clue that his college life wasn't going to start off well. He blamed Shishou for planting those damned ideas in his head about thinking about his future as well. He'd asked him what he wanted in his life, to not be afraid to get to know the girls he met and maybe someday he'd want to be with one. He'd laughed at the man, since in Kyou's entire life he hadn't ever had any interest in girls.

That was probably the reason that the next girl that walked into his life left him feeling like a cat in heat. Every cheesy metaphor he could imagine matched that moment, lightning struck, angels sang, the world stood still…it was nothing more than a fucking nightmare.

He hadn't talked to her at all, but knew more about her than he possibly should. Her father had died when she was really young, she'd been left alone a lot as a child, the third anniversary of her mother's death was quickly approaching and Kyou had been the one to let her die.

Being the cat, Kyou was used to fate dealing him the short end of everything. He knew his life was built on the sacrifices of others, that he would be better off dead. Now he had to force his existence on the one person who shouldn't have to deal with him at all. He thought once Shishou heard the name of the girl he had been placed with he'd surely be allowed to return home.

Apparently, Shishou thought Kyou still had some healing to do besides those four months in the woods. _'Living with her might be something beneficial. I don't know if its fate or a coincidence but your life has been intertwined with hers for many years. Perhaps there is a reason why.'_ After that, the line went dead as Shishou hung up on him.

He didn't know what to do, he'd been sitting up here for hours as his head and his heart argued with each other, neither knowing what side it was really on. Part of him wanted to be with her, she was the one person he'd wanted to meet and he'd thought about her often over the years. Fate may have brought them together, but Kyou had established long ago that fate didn't like him at all. This didn't bode well for either of them.

Getting to his feet, Kyou made his way back into the dorm and down the stairwell to his room. It was extremely late and he had to be up early to do his morning workout, he needed to attempt to get a little bit of sleep. Opening the door, he wasn't surprised to find Tohru fast asleep since it was well after midnight. The light in the hallway lit up her face and Kyou just stood there watching her for a moment, every fiber of his being telling him that with her was where he was supposed to be.

Closing the door quietly, Kyou pressed his forehead against the coolness of the wood for a moment. "Why? Why her?" he whispered to himself. Sighing, he locked the door before heading over to sit on his bed. Rooming with a girl; any girl, wasn't something that he would consider safe. She'd discovered the curse already, though she hadn't had a chance to ask him about it. So had Uotani and Hanajima, he didn't imagine either of them would let it get buy without an explanation.

He hoped the damned rat had come clean to them, so he wasn't the one that had to. He doubted that though, since that would force Yuki to reveal his _own_ curse and the less they knew the better. Maybe Hatori could just erase their memories; it wouldn't be the first time they'd had to do that.

His eyes drawn to Tohru, Kyou was still confused about everything he was feeling. He wondered how she'd been the past couple of years, living without her mother. Had she been happy? Did she miss Kyoko? Would she hate him when she learned the truth? Kyou buried his head in his hands, wondering why he cared if she hated him or not. He shouldn't care, he should stay far away from her because no one in his life had ever made him feel like this, and it scared him. He felt like if he got too close to Tohru, in the end he would shatter. The world and life he'd created for himself would crumble and there wouldn't be anything he could do to save it.

Sighing, Kyou lifted his head and his eyes landed on the picture frames on her desk. The picture of Hanajima and Uotani surprised him, making him wonder how long she'd known them for. The photo looked to have been taken before he'd ever met the pair, as if they'd all gone to middle school together. His attention fell on the other frame, Honda Kyoko stared back at him and he realized the one thing that scared him the most.

If he got too close to Tohru, it would be _her_ that would shatter, _her_ that he'd trample. A life built on the sacrifices of others; Tohru would be yet another thing he would destroy in the end. He'd taken enough from her already, he didn't want to take anything else. His eyes landed on the final item on her desk, frowning as he stared at it.

Shocked, Kyou got to his feet and made his way get a closer look at what he thought was a Jyuunishi set. He couldn't breathe as he picked up the papier-mâché cat from the set and stared at it. "Why the hell would she add the cat to it? Is she nuts?" He put the neko back, not wanting it to look like he'd been going through any of her stuff and turned back around to go to bed.

His eyes landed on a plate sitting on his desk, it was full of onigiri. He hadn't realized until that moment that he hadn't eaten since lunch, and suddenly found himself starved. Grabbing the small paper sitting beneath the platter, Kyou opened the paper and tried to make out the messy script. "Damn her handwriting sucks," he growled. It only took a moment to decipher the message.

_I missed dinner tonight, thought you might have as well. I made a few extra onigiri in case you came home and were hungry. I did not know what flavors you liked, so I am sorry they are so plain. I haven't had a chance to go to the market for anything yet. If you let me know what you like, I will be sure to pick it up next time. I am so sorry for being such a burden. _

_Tohru Honda_

He sat there staring at the note in shock, _'Burden? If anyone's a burden, it's me.'_ He reached for an onigiri, and noticed he'd started eating without even realizing it. There was only two left, which didn't take him long to finish those off either. Taking the dish to the sink in the bathroom, Kyou rinsed it off quickly and promised himself to clean it better in the morning.

Exhaustion had finally overwhelmed him; he had too much to think about and not enough time. He wasn't sure what tomorrow would bring, but he could deal with it in the morning. Climbing into bed, he took a last glance at Tohru...

He'd have to deal with it, he wouldn't destroy anything again.

He'd done enough damage to her already.

_I do not own Fruits Basket or the characters affiliated with the Manga and Anime. They are the property of Natsuki Takaya…I am just 'borrowing' them for my own nefarious deeds. I own nothing, suing me won't help anyone._

_Sari-15_


	6. Pain

**Pain**

Chapter Six

_"Be selfish...say what you want…once in a while."_

_"I want to stay together!"_

_"I've _always_ loved the cat from the zodiac"_

'_If I'm gonna lose her anyway…I'll make it so bad, I'll hurt her so much…that it couldn't possibly hurt anymore!'_

_"You know…there's one on _your_ back too. An Umboshi. I can see it." _

_"That's lonely isn't it?"_

He awoke with a start, the voices in his dreams haunting him. He attributed the end of the dream to the sudden appearance of Tohru in his life, unearthing his memories of Kyoko. Kyou hadn't thought about her in years, had attempted to block that part of his life from surfacing and he'd been successful until now. A small series of blurred images, he recognized his own voice in them but didn't understand their significance. Kyoko, she'd been the only clear image...a memory of her that he'd never been able to forget. Her voice still ringing in his head, as the past came out to reach him.

Still feeling startled, the neko sat up in bed and turned his alarm off. It was only an hour earlier than he usually woke up, but the dream had really disrupted him and he knew he wouldn't be falling asleep again. Kyou took a deep breath, trying to ease his troubled nerves as memories of Kyoko assaulted his mind. Feeling like the walls were closing in on him, trapped in a situation he had no control over and wished he could change, Kyou needed out.

It was still dark outside, but he grabbed some fresh sweats and padded into the bathroom to change. Quickly changing out of the clothing from the night before, Kyou threw his laundry into the hamper before grabbing his shoes from his closet and shoving his feet in them. _'Running a few miles should help,'_ he thought, lacing the sneakers tightly. _'I just need to clear my head. I can forget the past...I've done it before. This just might be until a room opens up someplace, then one of us can get out of here and I should be able to go on with my life.' _

Grabbing his keys, Kyou locked the door behind him and quickly made his way downstairs. The early morning air crisp and cool against his skin, the campus was dark as he slowly started his jog across campus. Once warmed up, Kyou picked up his pace, the rhythm of his feet hitting the pavement the only noise disrupting the quiet surrounding him. The neko ran, needing to find the comfort of space from his room, away from Honda Tohru. Guilt flooding him, each step ricocheting through his body as his mind hummed _'must-forget-must-forget-must-forget' _with each footfall.

Every touch on the pavement quicker than the last, Kyou soon found himself in a sprint, wanting to feel the pain in his chest as the burning in his lungs threatened to consume him. Hoping the pain would be punishment enough, would help him forget about his transgressions. That maybe this too, was just a dream that he'd wake from soon.

Unable to breathe, his gasped for air as he collapsed onto his knees in the grass grasping the blades in his fingers as his body revolted against him. His shoulders shook, finally reacting to the emotional stress as he broke down in sobs. The heat from the tears he didn't even attempt to wipe away, rocking on his knees in a fetal position.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." Kyou whispered; knowing absolution would never come. Not only would she never forgive him, he'd never be able to forgive himself. He'd earned his freedom, never to be locked in that prison he'd feared for so long only to find himself wishing he could go back and lose.

He didn't deserve to live with others, he had nothing to give to the world in return for his existence. His life had no meaning, so why was _he_ the one here? There had been a meaning to her life, Tohru had needed Kyoko...why couldn't _he_ been the one killed that day? Why did he live?

A life for a life, he'd made the wrong choice and protected himself instead. _'Are you punishing me? Putting us together...after all this time. Are you trying to show me what I had destroyed? What happened to her once you went away? Why would you let this happen?' _

"I don't understand!" Kyou screamed, ripping blades from the firm dirt beneath him as he screamed into the darkness of the morning. "Why would you let this happen? I crush _everything_! Why would you put her in a position to be destroyed?"

"I've hurt that girl too much already," he whispered, staring at his hands in disgust as the tears slowly trailed down his cheeks. "I can't let anything happen to her again. I won't let anything happen to her again..."

Kyou wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, slowly getting to his feet. Emotionally drained, he'd come to a decision about what he needed to do. He'd make it through these few months, somehow he'd protect her from himself. In the end, he wanted to make sure she continued to smile. He owed her that much.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Kyou wasn't home when Tohru woke up, instantly making her worry that he'd never returned the night before. Searching for any evidence to the contrary, Tohru's eyes landed on his desk to find the plate of food missing. Giving a relieved sigh, Tohru climbed out of her bed before straightening her comforter. "At least he got something to eat last night, mom," Tohru said cheerfully to the picture frame. "He sure got up early though. I don't think Sohma-san likes me much... I hope he isn't too uncomfortable living with me. I can always go sleep on Uo and Hana's floor if I need to. I'd hate to impose on them though."

Sighing, Tohru headed to her closet to pull out her clothes for the day. She wasn't sure when Kyou would return, but she didn't think either of them would feel comfortable if she was changing when he came back. Quickly grabbing the first blouse and skirt she could find, she moved to rummage through the drawer she kept her undergarments in and took out the first set she got her hands on before heading for the restroom.

Locking the door behind her, Tohru turned the shower on before getting herself undressed and getting in. They'd been lucky to acquire a room with an attached bathroom, it would be much easier living with him this way if she wasn't forced to leave the room to get ready for the day. "If only I could get him to talk to me a little," she said to herself, rinsing the shampoo from her hair. "It would be lonely living with someone who doesn't like me...and won't talk with me."

Turning the water off, Tohru grabbed the towel and dried herself off before wrapping it around her hair. She listened as she got dressed, and from the slight noises outside the room, Tohru suspected Kyou had returned. Putting her worn towel in the hamper, Tohru grabbed a navy hair bow, a comb, a brush and her hair dryer incase he needed to use the shower as well.

Opening the door, her roommate sat on his bed staring out the window with his clothes for the day sitting on his lap. "I didn't mean to wake you when I left," he growled, never making eye contact with her as he spoke.

Surprised, Tohru shook her head fiercely not wanting him to think he'd bothered her at all. "No, no, no!" She replied, glad she'd brought her hair supplies out with her since he looked like he'd just returned from exercising. "I have always been an early riser. I didn't even hear you leave the room. I didn't mean to worry you, Sohma-san."

His entire body tensed, making Tohru tense in response thinking she'd upset him somehow. "Don't call me that! Freaks me out...," he growled, still staring outside. "What's with the cat in that thing anyway?"

"Eh?" Tohru looked around, since he still stared out the window. "My Jyuunishi set?"

"Yes," he sighed, finally looking at her. She noticed the exhaustion in his eyes and wondered if he'd slept at all the night before. "There's no cat in it."

"M...Mom used to tell me the fable as a kid," she stuttered, blushing at the absurdity of the story. "I...I always wished the cat hadn't been left out, I wanted to be the year of the cat. I loved the cat...and it felt empty without it..." Tohru shrugged, looking at the floor, embarrassed. "I made it myself...because it's my favorite."

An uncomfortable silence followed the explanation; Tohru was just about to say something when Kyou got to his feet. "That's just stupid," he replied, heading for the bathroom.

"Sohma-san?"

"Kyou!" he yelled, slamming the door behind him.

"Um...K...Kyou-kun?"

Another lapse of silence followed, making Tohru think he hadn't heard her through the door. She opened her mouth to say something again, but Kyou interrupted her with an exasperated sigh. "What?" he growled, the sound slightly muffled through the wood.

"I...um...I thought I might go down to breakfast in a few minutes," Tohru answered, hoping he'd understand through the wall between them. "Would you like for me to wait for you, so we can eat together?"

"Whatever..."

The water cut off any response Tohru would have given made, obviously her cue that the conversation was finished. _'He confuses me,'_ Tohru thought, staring at the door for a few seconds. _'Maybe...it's just his personality...' _Sighing, Tohru grabbed her comb and set out to dry her hair before Kyou finished taking his shower. She'd hate to have him waiting for her when she'd been the one to ask him to go.

Working quickly, Tohru was finishing tying the bow in her hair when Kyou stepped out of the bathroom. He looked surprised to see her still, but gave her a slight nod as he grabbed his shoes and put them on. Tohru couldn't help the grin that quickly covered her face as she noticed the sprinkling of a blush cover his cheeks. _'Maybe it's just a little harder for him...I can't imagine him being around people too often if he turns into a cat like that!'_

"You coming?" he sighed, impatiently holding the door to their room open for her.

"Oh!" she cried, grabbing her loafers and putting them on. She felt her cheeks heat in embarrassment, since she'd just been standing there watching him. "I'm so sorry! You're waiting for me and I am just standing here!"

"It's fine, stop apologizing!" he replied gruffly, looking away from her.

Tohru quickly headed out the door, but found it hard to drag her eyes away from him as she tried to figure out if that was _really_ a blush covering his face. Not paying attention, Tohru ran into something solid before starting to fall as a poof of smoke surrounded her.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"To-ru!"

"You have got to be kidding me!" Kyou yelled, grabbing Tohru's arm as she started to fall to the floor. Dragging her back in the room with him, Kyou slammed the door after his two family members made it safely inside. "Where the hell did you come from and why did you drag the damned rat with you when he's not even awake yet?"

"Momiji-kun?"

"Morning To-ru!"

_'She knows Momiji?'_ Kyou looked between the pair, both obviously excited to see each other. Identical grins covered their faces as Momiji held Yuki in his hands. The nezumi didn't look any more awake than he had a few moments ago, he'd never been an early riser. _'At least the rabbit went to get _him_ first.'_

"Um...Momiji-kun...why are you holding a mouse?"

Momiji grinned, holding the rat up for her to see. "You ran into Yuki!"

"Eh?" She screeched, quickly looking from Yuki to Kyou several times. "I turned him into a mouse? How?"

"I thought you knew," Momiji answered, looking at Tohru in confusion. "Yuki said that you turned Kyou into _his_ zodiac animal last night and learned about the curse."

_"Eh?" _Tohru fell back onto her bed, in obvious surprise. "Zodiac? C...curse?"

"You idiot," Kyou yelled, hitting the rabbit over the head with a closed fist. "She just knew about me! Stop talking so much!"

"But Kyou!" Momiji whined, rubbing his head lightly. "I thought she knew! Yuki told me there was a mistake and that you were rooming with her and I had to make sure you weren't being perverted toward her."

_'Perverted?'_ Kyou was speechless, since he'd never thought he'd exhibted signs of any sorts in that direction. He'd never had time to think about girls like that since he knew he'd probably be leaving in the near future. Until Tohru, he hadn't even found himself physically attracted to anyone. _'That's probably just 'cause I know I _can_ be with someone now, but still...Tohru's off limits. Who'd want someone who's hiding such a monster inside of him, anyway.'_

"Momiji-kun...what are you talking about?" Tohru asked, her eyes moving around the room from Momiji to Kyou and back again. "Are they under a curse? Is that why they change into--" Tohru's eyes widened briefly before she quickly whipped around and covered her eyes. Yuki had transformed back in a puff of smoke. "I am _so_ sorry! I didn't see a thing! I swear!"

"No, I'm sorry you had to see that, Tohru-kun," Yuki replied, his voice still strained and tired. "Several members of the Sohma family have the vengeful spirits of one of the zodiac animals reside within us, when embraced by someone of the opposite sex it causes us to transform into them. It also happens if we are sick or stressed, so you can see how this might cause some problems."

Momiji walked over to her desk, pulling a few of the zodiac ornaments from the set and placed them away from the rest. "Obviously Yuki is the rat, Kyou is the cat, but _I_ am the rabbit!"

"Why are you telling her all of this?" Kyou growled, stomping over to Momiji and grabbing the ornaments from the usagi before putting them back where they had been moments before. "Hatori will just erase her memories, he always does!"

"Not if we don't tell him she knows!" Momiji cried, grabbing Kyou around the waist and hugging him tightly. "Wouldn't it be nice? No one has ever known before! It can be our little secret!"

Shoving against his cousin in an attempt to dislodge him, Kyou had a bad feeling about all of this. "It would just make Akito angry," he growled, finally successful in releasing Momiji's grasp on him. "He'll take it out on her. I'd rather just--"

"I really don't want to lose my memories," Tohru said quietly, picking at a loose thread on her bedspread. "But if that's what you are supposed to do...then maybe you should do that. I don't want to bring problems to anyone. I just...what would I do? Where would I go?"

Kyou sighed, feeling both pairs of his cousins' eyes on him waiting for an answer. Tohru didn't say a word more, just folded her hands on her lap and stared at them unmoving. Irritation swelled within him causing his shoulders to tense uncomfortably, something about seeing her upset... _physically _bothered him. "Why do _I _have to be the one to decide?" he growled, confused and angry at his reaction toward the girl. It wasn't like him to be so affected by anyone...especially a girl.

He tended to stay far away from them.

"Because," Yuki said coldly, his arms crossed across his chest as he glared at Kyou. "She's _your_ roommate, Baka Neko."

"Not like I _asked_ for it!" Kyou yelled, taking a step toward Yuki. It was the last thing he'd expected, he would have rather roomed with forty giggly girls that drove him to want to leap off the roof of the dorm than be stuck in a room with Tohru. "Anywhere would be better than _this_!"

Kyou's throat closed up in shock, his chest clenched painfully as his legs buckled beneath him. Falling to his knees, he tried to catch his breath so he could take back the painful words. Tohru's gasp ripped through his heart at the same time Yuki's foot connected with his chin. Kyou hit the wall hard, hitting the back of his head first before landing on the floor in a defeated heap.

"I'd love to room with Tohru!" Momiji chimed in, sitting next to the girl on the bed and taking her hand. "She's one of the nicest people I have ever met. You should be happy to be with her Kyou, you're lucky! "

Tohru's lip quivered, looking like she was trying her hardest not to cry—which just made Kyou feel guiltier. He didn't know why he'd said it, it's not how he really felt, but it's not like he could say _'Living with you is a painful reminder of why I think I should be dead.'_

"Momiji, if you don't leave for school now, you'll be late," Yuki commented. The entire time he spoke to the rabbit, Yuki never took his eyes from Kyou's. Kyou averted his eyes at the ferocious glare; he got the nezumi's message immediately. Kyou hadn't needed it though. The instant the words left his mouth, his body had given him the message louder than any kick Yuki could have ever given out.

He'd fucked up, bad.

"Oh! You can't miss school!" Tohru leapt to her feet, pulling Momiji with her. "Graduating from high school is so important, Momiji-kun! You'd better hurry!"

"We can walk him downstairs, Tohru," Yuki replied. "I assume you haven't eaten breakfast yet, have you?"

"No!" she replied, shaking her head quickly. "Kyou-kun and I were going down when you arrived, did you want to come with us?"

Kyou clenched his hands into fists, getting to his feet. A sharp pain in his chest making it difficult for him to breathe as he headed across the room toward the bath, he couldn't deal with anything right now. "Just…go with him. I'm not hungry," he said, slamming the door behind him.

Kyou collapsed on the tile floor of the bathroom, dropping his head in his hands as he willed his heart to stop. _'It was the same as before, that feeling. Why is it so different when she says my name?' _

He sat there, listening to the murmuring on the other side of the doorway as he waited for them to leave. He really did just want to be alone right now; he didn't know what was happening to him or why his emotions were so out of whack. "Kyou-kun?"

'_Maybe I should have stayed with Sohma-san; the creepy chills I got in my spine were a hell of a lot easier to deal with.'_

"Kyou-kun?" Tohru knocked on the door this time, but he still wouldn't answer. He'd said enough mean things to her today, he'd probably make a bigger ass of himself if he opened his mouth—or worse since his insides twisted all weird when she said his name. "Are you sure you don't want to come? Or...I…I could try to bring you back something, if you like."

Several moments of silence later, he heard a gentle sigh and a small pair of feet head out the door before closing it behind her. _'I can't last…I'll never make it…I can't live with her like this!'_ Kyou waited on the floor for a few minutes, before slowly making his way to his feet and out of their room. Taking the stairs, Kyou quickly found his way to the roof of the dorm and seated himself at the highest spot he could find.

It was the oddest sensation, having your mind telling you to push her away for her own safety, but having every ounce of your soul screaming at you not to let her out of your sight. There were only two outcomes to this situation; he'd end up destroying her…or himself.

Kyou wouldn't allow it to be the first one.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_I do not own Fruits Basket or the characters affiliated with the Manga and Anime. They are the property of Natsuki Takaya…I am just 'borrowing' them for my own nefarious deeds. I own nothing, suing me won't help anyone._

_(Quotes from Fruits Basket)_

_Sari-15_


	7. Instinct

**Instinct**

**Chapter Seven**

She hadn't been very good company at breakfast, of that Tohru was certain. After walking Momiji downstairs, Yuki had led her to the cafeteria to get breakfast. The experience had been slightly overwhelming for the onigiri to handle, used to doing most of the cooking and cleaning for herself through high school. Being the one served, it hadn't felt _right_ for some reason, it was something uncomfortable and awkward. _'I guess I'll have to get used to that...'_

Balancing the items she held in her hand, Tohru fumbled with the keys to her dorm room before finally getting the key in the lock. Hana and Uo had joined them for breakfast soon after Yuki and her had gotten settled at a table. _'It had been nice,'_ Tohru thought, pushing the door open as she scanned the room for sign of her roommate. _'It's just...something felt _wrong,_ like something was missing.' _Sitting down and eating with Yuki and her friends, it had felt like she'd done it hundreds of times before. It was comfortable, the company had been great...just...thinking of Kyou's refusal to come down to breakfast had distracted her. She couldn't help feeling that what was missing, was _him_.

Looking around the room, Tohru felt her heart sink a little as she realized he'd left again. A slight frown sliding over her face, Tohru couldn't help but wonder what had happened to cause such a dramatic change in his mood in such a short time. Right before leaving for breakfast he'd been...well... _happy_. She'd started to see a little of the kindness he had below his exterior and she'd been really looking forward to getting to know him. When he'd refused to come down for breakfast, it had devastated her.

Looking at the apple and biscuit she'd brought with her to give to him, it wasn't much but it was better than skipping breakfast like he had. Tohru suddenly decided to go search for the missing neko. _'I still can't believe he's the cat from the zodiac. No wonder he got acted so strange when I told him the story about how much I loved the cat from the fable...it's _him.' Locking the door behind her, Tohru headed toward the stairwell as she thought about where she should look for her missing roommate.

Still debating on where to look first, she'd gone up a half a flight of stairs before she realized something was telling her to go to the roof. Going on instinct alone, she continued the trek up the seven flights before arriving on the final landing with the exit door. Biting her lip, Tohru stared at the heavy door as she contemplated going outside or returning to her room and waiting for him to come home.

_'Why here? Why did I need to come _hereTaking a deep breath, Tohru grabbed the doorknob and turned. Needing all of her weight to open the heavy door, it made it difficult to balance the items she'd brought with her. In her struggle, she almost lost the apple but quickly maneuvered and saved it by trapping it against her stomach with her arm. "I didn't even realize I'd stopped breathing..." Tohru sighed in relief, staring at the fruit nestled within the crook of her elbow as her heart raced in her chest. "To get so worked up about an apple."

Taking a few steps away from the building, the steel door quickly slammed shut behind her, the noise reverberating across the roof of the building. For the second time in mere seconds, Tohru found herself having to catch her breath as she forced her heart to calm from it's racing. "Th...This isn't something to get so upset about," she chastised herself, finally taking a moment to look around the roof.

Kyou wasn't anywhere in sight. She wasn't sure why that surprised her, since she wasn't sure why she'd expected him to be here in the first place. Deciding to check the entire roof, she slowly walked around the building to make sure she just happened to have missed him. Without a sign of the missing neko, Tohru had begun to get slightly discouraged until she'd spotted the ladder on the stairwell building. Cuddling the food against her with her arm, she managed to struggle her way to the top without any complications.

On the ground, facing the opposite direction sat Kyou Sohma, knees tucked up under his chin as he wrapped his arms around his legs. If he noticed her presence, he hadn't given any indication of it as she walked toward him. Reaching his side, Tohru sat down as he continued to ignore her. "We...um...missed you at breakfast," she commented, holding her offerings out toward him. A scarlet blush crept over her cheeks as she noticed the condition of the biscuit, embarrassed to offer him something that looked so unappetizing. "I...I'm sorry it's so...um...it's a little smashed. It was in good condition when I had gotten back to the room...I guess it didn't like the trip up the ladder."

"That's okay, I'm not hungry anyway."

"Oh...um..." Tohru bit her lip, embarrassed as she slowly lowered her hand with the biscuit to her lap. "I...I just thought since you didn't eat breakfast, you might be hungry. My mom always said that breakfast is the most important meal because it gives you energy for the rest of the day."

The neko heaved a sigh, before sticking his hand out to her. Grinning, Tohru handed him the apple, happy that he'd decided to eat. Switching it over to his other hand, Kyou shoved the hand he'd taken the apple with out toward her again. "Ah...you don't have to eat the biscuit if you don't want to. I'm sure we can find you something else since this is..."

"Just give me the stupid biscuit; it's just a little smushed. It's not like it's ruined or anything," he growled harshly.

"Ah! Okay!" she replied, almost dropping it in her hurry to give it to him. "You don't have to eat it though. Really…"

Kyou shrugged, taking the small piece from her proffered hand. "It's not a big deal; you didn't drop it on the ground or step on it or anything." He placed the apple on his lap, before picking at the crumbs of the biscuit that sat in his hand. Kyou looked up at her from beneath the fringe of his bangs, a sprinkling of a blush covering his cheeks as he watched her a moment. "It's fine…really…thanks."

"No! It was nothing, really! I just...I don't like thinking of you all alone and hungry like that," Tohru said, her own face heating slightly in response. Her embarrassment always loosened her tongue just enough to get her babbling, today was no different. "I just…you must think I am a stalker or something. I just…I've always loved the cat from the fable but I didn't know it was _you_ when I told you that and all. I probably sounded pretty stupid, but that's not why I came up here. I just…it's that…if you think I should get my memories erased, that's okay. I just…I don't have anywhere else to go and I haven't even gotten a chance to get to know you yet. I'd like to get to know you…I don't want to lose that…but if you have to get my memories erased, I understand."

"Stop babbling, I'm not getting your memories erased," he growled, instantly shutting her up. "As long as you don't tell anyone I don't see the problem, it's just...we don't want others finding out."

"I can understand that," Tohru said, relief rushing over her as she clasped her hands together on her lap in happiness. "It's a really big secret and I'm honored that you are willing to let me keep it. I promise I won't tell a soul! Honest!"

He didn't say answer her, just picked at the biscuit in his hand as he stared off in the distance. Tohru didn't quite understand her new roommate, but more than anything she wanted to learn about him. Drawn to the moody redhead, Tohru felt there was something more to the neko then she'd been able to see yet. There was a part of her that longed to unearth those mysteries, no matter what they contained.

"How the hell did you find me, anyway?"

Flinching, Tohru looked around the rooftop as she tried to remember the reasons she'd come up here. "I...I don't really know," she answered, biting her lip as she looked up at him. "I just...something just told me you would be up here." Tohru flushed, looking down at her hands resting on her lap. "That probably sounds silly, doesn't it?"

He didn't answer.

Tohru sighed; getting him to open up was turning out to be more difficult than she'd thought it would be. She refused to give up though, if they would be living together for even a few days, she wanted to get to know him. "Kyou-kun?" He still didn't answer, but turned toward her to show he was at least listening. "Um...do you...I just wondered where you had come from last night. It looked like you had been exercising."

"I've been here for a week already, since I had to be here for martial arts. I'm on scholarship."

_'That's...that's...it's so exciting!'_ She hadn't ever been friends with someone athletic before. If he was on scholarship for it..."You must be _really_ good to be on the team like that!" Tohru happily cried, clasping her hands in front of her as she leaned toward him. "Earning a scholarship for something like that is really not an easy thing to do. I mean, I have a scholarship too...but it's not for anything as admirable as _that_. Do you have matches and things you have to go to? Were you at practice last night, is that why you weren't around when I was moving in?"

Tohru suddenly realized she had invaded the neko's personal space, to a degree where he had to lean away from her. "I...I'm sorry," she said quietly, wilting away from him as the flush quickly spread through her cheeks. "I...I just really think that's something special."

"T-that's okay," he managed to choke out, quickly looking away from her. "I'm not that good. I've only beaten that damned Yuki once in our lives, even though I've trained more and everything. I don't even remember beating him. That's just my luck to finally beat him and not even remember."

Confused, Tohru wasn't sure how one couldn't remember winning something—especially when it was something of obvious importance to the person. Not wanting to pry into something that might upset him, she focused more on what interested her at the moment. "When is your first meet? I've never seen a match before! It sounds so exciting!"

Kyou looked back at her, the tiniest smile covering his face as he shook his head in surprise. "You don't have to come; you'd probably find them boring. It's just a bunch of kids kicking each others asses."

"I'd like to see Kyou-kun fight. It's something you obviously really care about."

"You're weird," he said, taking a bite of the apple as he turned away. Tohru grinned; she hadn't missed the genuine smile he'd given her first and thought that maybe she'd made her first real breakthrough with her roommate. _'Things should be much easier now. It just takes a little more to get Kyou-kun to open up.'_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

He hadn't expected things to be this difficult, his Shihan was really intense in his training and Kyou had worried several times in the past couple of days if he'd transform from overexertion. He loved it though, every practice found him improving his techniques more and more. Kyou hadn't worked this hard since Shishou had forced him into the mountains. The intense training was helping him deal with the sudden appearance of Tohru in his life, giving him something to focus on besides her.

'_Yeah…right…Shihan thinks your head's in the clouds half the time.'_ Opening the stairwell door, Kyou entered the hallway to head to their room. Even during practice, he was having trouble concentrating on what he needed to accomplish because he was thinking about _her_. Letting himself into the room, Kyou groaned at the sight in front of him.

"Kyou-kun! Welcome home!"

"Kyon!"

"Don't any of you have class today?" he growled, tossing his bag in the corner by his closet as he removed his shoes. Moving to his dresser, Kyou pulled out a clean tee-shirt, boxers and a pair of jeans to wear after his shower before turning to the trio sitting on the floor.

"It's only the first day," Saki replied, dropping a card on the discard pile. "My psychology professor gave us the syllabi and excused us until the next meeting."

"Hurry and shower, Kyon," Arisa said, pulling two cards from the deck before finding one to discard. "We still need one more to play Dai Hin Min. We've been playing Seven's for about an hour now."

"Who said I wanted to play?" he replied, making his way over to the bathroom. "I'm starved and have an Accounting class in an hour. I need to eat."

"Food? Hmm…I think Sohma Kyou has the right idea."

"I think you are always hungry, Hana-chan," Tohru giggled, looking up from her cards to give Kyou a bright smile. "I'm a little hungry too. Is it okay if we come down with you, Kyou-kun?"

"Whatever, not like I can stop you or anything. I'll be ready in just a couple minutes," he added, closing the door behind him.

Kyou rubbed his fist across his forehead, he was getting used to having her around. Three days after their conversation on the roof, things had strangely settled into a comfortable routine for the two of them. Even having Yuki around seemed almost 'normal' for some reason, though they hadn't seen too much of him. He stopped by long enough to say hello before leaving again. Kyou did his best to ignore him at those moments, but seeing the budding friendship between Tohru and the nezumi...brought out a side of him he hated.

He knew the damned rat had a girlfriend, but for some reason seeing Yuki around Tohru made him bitter about what had happened in the past. _'I should be past this point...it was so long ago and so stupid to fight about. Still...I can't help feeling like he's gonna come in and snatch her away again...' _Turning on the water, Kyou jumped in to take a quick shower. It was a stupid thing to think about, really. It was _him_ that was around her constantly, _him_ that couldn't stop thinking about her, _him _that wanted to be around her all the time. "I can do this," he growled, scrubbing the shampoo in his hair in frustration. "It's only been a couple days and she's someone I always wondered about so I'm bound to be a little weird about this. She'll annoy me and I won't feel like this anymore, it shouldn't take too long. She does and says a lot of things that usually annoy me."

Except, they never annoyed him when she was the one doing them.

Quickly rinsing his hair, Kyou shut the water off and climbed out as he grabbed his towel. Getting dressed and ready in record time, he opened the door to find himself alone in the room with Tohru. She quickly got to her feet from where she sat on her bed, her face breaking out into a smile that always seemed to light up their sparsely decorated room at the sight of him. "Hana-chan and Uo-chan headed down to the cafeteria already, they said they would save us a couple of seats."

Her grin was infectious and Kyou couldn't help giving her a small smile in return as she grabbed her keys off her desk and headed toward him. "How did Kyou-kun's practice go today?"

Kyou shrugged, pulling the door open as she reached him. "It went okay. Shihan thinks I'm ready for tomorrow, so that's good." Tohru looked over her shoulder as she exited the room, showing him she was paying attention to what he was saying. _'It's not that interesting. Girls hate stuff like this, why does she always ask me about it?' _

"Tomorrow! Already?" Tohru panicked, fidgeting with her hands as Kyou shut the door behind them. Kyou couldn't help the small grin that slipped over his face as he watched her, she looked so cute when she got all flustered.

"I told you, you don't _have_ to go. There'll be other matches and you'd probably find it boring anyway."

"No! No! I just didn't realize it had come up so quickly is all!" Tohru assured, calming down with each step they took. Opening the door to the stairwell, Kyou let her through before heading down toward the cafeteria. "Um...just do your best and I'll be there cheering you on! Ah! Sorry Kyou-kun!" Turning around, Tohru had paused in her descend to _literally_ cheer him on and Kyou hadn't realized it until she'd called his name. Quickly jogging down the stairs, hand held out to reach for him, Kyou grabbed it when it was within reach and continued the journey down.

"You need to pay attention to what's going around you," he chastised, reaching the landing and opening the door to let them out of the stairwell.

"I'm s-sorry," she answered, giving him a sheepish grin. "I'm just so excited to see Kyou-kun in his match! I bet you're really good at it, living with your Shishou for so long! Oh! Hana-chan said she'd go with me! That way I don't have to sit alone in the stands!"

"What!" Kyou yelled, turning to look at her in disbelief as he pulled open the cafeteria door. "She can't go! All she's gonna do is sit and harass Shishou the whole night! No! This sucks!"

"Hana-chan knows your Shishou?" Tohru said excitedly. "He'll be there? I can meet your Shishou? Oh! That's so exciting Kyou-kun!"

Dread flowed through Kyou, Shishou would _love_ to meet Tohru and he didn't doubt that he'd turn down that opportunity. '_Son of a...this isn't good…'_ It was bad enough having Hana there, but having Shishou meet Tohru, he wasn't sure if he was ready for that.

"There they are!" Tohru said happily, heading over to the table her friends had staked out for them. "We found you!"

Arisa and Saki both gave big smiles at the sight of Tohru, before looking between the new pair with confusion. "Is there something you need to tell us?" Hanajima said softly.

"Kyon! Why the hell are you holding Tohru's hand?"

_'Holding her...'_ Kyou looked down at his hand in confusion and saw that sure enough their hands were tightly clasped together. Eyes widening in shock, Kyou dropped her hand as if it was on fire as Tohru gave a stunned "Eh? I d-don't k-know how that happened!"

Kyou could feel his cheeks burning with embarrassment as he turned and stormed away from them, grabbing a tray to get food. _'How long...how didn't I even know? What is going on? How didn't I realize...' _Grabbing a glass from the holder, Kyou filled it with water and quickly drained it in line before refilling it. _'I was holding her _hand_ and didn't even notice! How could I not have noticed?'_

"I'm sorry, Kyou-kun." Kyou jumped at the voice as Tohru snuck up next to him, almost spilling his water onto the tray. "I must have grabbed your hand in the stairwell and not realized it. I...I've never done that before. I'm really sorry."

"It's not your fault," he growled, knowing exactly why he hadn't noticed something that normally would catch his attention like that.

It was comforting.

It felt familiar.

He hadn't wanted to let go.

Kyou knew he was damned, because he didn't know how he was supposed to stop it from happening again if he didn't realize he'd done it in the first place.

_I do not own Fruits Basket or the characters affiliated with the Manga and Anime. They are the property of Natsuki Takaya…I am just 'borrowing' them for my own nefarious deeds. I own nothing, suing me won't help anyone._

_Sari-15_


	8. History

**History**

Chapter Eight

"_Mingling with people, hurting them, getting hurt by them…that's how you learn about others and about yourself. If you don't, you'll never be able to care about anyone but yourself. You may be a black belt fighter, but you're a white belt in dealing with people. For the sake of the girl who will one day tell you she loves you…don't run away. Keep training."_

"_Are you okay not swimming? If you're worried about me—"_

"_That's not it! It's just more fun being _together_!"_

"_You leave me no other choice. I will take away your means of escape. Will you lose her, or will you not? I will help you find the answer. Kyou…discover for yourself…weather or not your birthright really makes you 'worthless'."_

Heart slamming in his chest, Kyou awoke with a start, sitting up with shock as he instinctively grabbed his wrist, trying to catch his breath in the process. _'It was...just a dream...'_ he thought to himself, staring at the beads that rested peacefully on his wrist. Still, the fear, the anxiety of what he'd seen had him wide awake and tense. "Shishou wouldn't ever do that to me..." he whispered to himself, wrapping his fingers around the ivory and auburn colored bracelet in an effort to calm himself.

Though he tried, Kyou couldn't dispel the panicked rush of adrenaline that flowed through him. "What's with the weird dreams?" he sighed, sliding his feet to the floor as he dropped his head into his hands. Unlike the last dream, Kyou had been able to make out the figures quite well in this one. A conversation with his cousin Shigure, one he hadn't ever had but at the same time felt entirely too real. Not that he wasn't used to listening to his cousin dish out unwanted advice, Kyou had been forced to listen to him from time to time when Shishou was away from the dojo on journeys.

For years, Kyou had been forced to stay with his cousin while Shishou was gone and Shigure had always delighted in tormenting him when he stayed with him. Although strange, the conversation wasn't something he could remember but seemed like one he would hear from the inu. Not that he'd ever listened to what he'd told him to remember if it was something he'd heard before.

The rest of the dream is what had him completely on edge. Forcing a calming breath into his lungs, Kyou felt his heart finally soothe to a regular pattern. He'd finally recognized the voice from the previous dream, and had been given an extremely detailed image of the owner. "She's haunting my dreams, damn it...this isn't good." Although she'd appeared several years younger than he knew her as today, her face was easily recognizable--as was the smile.

Shaking his head, Kyou could only concentrate on the last image he'd seen before waking. _'She was terrified. When Shishou took my bracelet, she was terrified.'_ Still anxious, Kyou's thoughts were single-minded. Kazuma removing his beads by force as he transformed in front of her--she'd been horrified. It didn't matter that the other part of his dream was something where they'd been happy, playing on the beach of all things--his entire focus remained on her reaction to _that form_.

_'She's just like everyone else...is that what my head's trying to tell me? No one will ever accept me the way Shishou does...he's all I have.'_ Slowly his gaze landed on her sleeping form, so peaceful and quiet, a startling contrast to his current tumultuous emotional state. _'He's all I'll ever have...I've known that for a long time.'_

Giving the sight of her a painful smile, Kyou tried to convince himself that he was okay with that.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Ensuring the door was locked behind her, Tohru quickly moved to her desk and sat down in the chair. Nervous energy filling her, she knew that she'd be safe until Hana came to walk her down to the gymnasium for Kyou's meet--there would be no interruptions until then. Biting her lip, Tohru pulled the photograph of her parents off the top shelf and gave the picture a small smile. She missed them--both of them--something terrible and regretted never asking her mother about her father while she'd been alive. Tohru had been too selfish, thinking her mother would realize she'd rather be with him than with Tohru and leave. It had taken her several years to heal, but recently, Tohru had felt ready to move forward in her life. Nothing would bring her parents back, they were together now and Tohru needed to find her own place, her own reason for living in this world.

"Mom, Dad...I'm sorry it's been so long since I spoke to you. I never imagined starting college would be so much work!" Tohru gave an apprehensive smile, feeling her cheeks flush with happiness as she spoke. "I'd never dreamed of going to college. I hope that my being here is making you proud. I know that Mom just wanted me to finish high school but...you also said that parents want what's best for their children. You wanted me to have a better life than you had. I-I...I almost told Shiraki-sensei 'no' when she gave me the paperwork. She...just told me to think about it."

"I did...I thought about it a long time." Clenching her hands in her lap, Tohru sighed, hoping her reasons made sense to her parents. "It was thinking about Dad...I knew he'd gone to school and if he was anything like you, Mom...he'd want me to have a better life than him too. So...here I am."

Biting her lip, Tohru took a calming breath as she looked down at her hands. Suddenly feeling extremely anxious, as if saying it aloud would carve it in stone and she couldn't go back. Sitting up straight, she readied herself as butterflies erupted in her stomach. "I've...b-been looking for my reason. Well...not really looking...as I figured it would find me." Turning to look at the door, trying to reassure herself that the lock was in fact turned. If she was unexpectedly interrupted during this conversation--that would be the worst! "I think...I think...it did. I'm trying not to think about it too much because, what if I'm wrong? I haven't even known him very long, but...something in me knows that he's the one."

A wash of tranquility suddenly enveloped her; even just thinking about him could put her at ease. "He's a little rough around the edges, but underneath...his heart is really caring. I-I think...or at least I hope that you two would really like him. I don't know, maybe it's just that I'm around him so much and not used to having a guy around like that...that maybe I'm just not used to it."

Staring down at her hands again, Tohru licked her lips before taking a calming breath. "I'm scared. This is all happening so fast and it really scares me." Shaking her head quickly, Tohru tried to expel the disheartening thoughts and turn her mood around. "I just like to be around him right now...that's all. I shouldn't get ahead of myself, especially when he seems to barely tolerate me at times."

Giving a nervous giggle, Tohru's eyes widened in shock as a knock sounded at the door. _'Uwa! Is Hana-chan here already? What time is it?'_ Scanning the room, she spotted Kyou's alarm clock and panicked when she realized it was almost time to leave. "Ah! Hana-chan!" she cried, racing for the door to let her friend into the room. In the process, Tohru managed to trip over her own feet and found herself plummeting into the door. Grabbing the handle as she fell, she stopped herself before she could cause herself any injury and quickly got back on her feet.

Yanking the door open with a flourish, Tohru greeted her friend with an award-winning smile. "Hana-chan!" she said, excitement flowing through her voice as she let her friend into her room with an embarrassed laugh. "Is it time to go already? I didn't even notice."

"Your hair is all messed up," Saki replied, pulling out the disheveled ribbon from Tohru's hair. "You need to be more careful or you might hurt yourself."

"Thanks, Hana-chan! You don't need to worry about me all the time, I'll be fine!" Tohru said, watching out of the corner of her eye as her friend quickly fixed her hair for her.

"We should be going," Saki said, grabbing Tohru's hand and leading her from the room. "He is here now."

"Who's here?" Tohru asked.

Saki just smiled, leading her toward the gymnasium. The walk was a short one, as the building wasn't very far from the dorm and Tohru was in company that she always enjoyed. Grinning at her raven-haired friend, Tohru followed her into the gym, her eyes growing wide as she took in the scene. The crowd wasn't especially large but there were several mats where some of the martial artists were sparring as a warm up.

Immediately she searched for her orange haired roommate, finding him easily as both his hair and height tended to make him stand out above the crowd. Sitting off on his own at the end of a number of lined up chairs, he looked deep in thought. Dressed in black koji, he didn't seem to be too nervous. _'I think I am nervous enough for the two of us. I've never seen a martial arts match before. I don't think I even know what to expect. He's probably done this a million times.'_

Saki seemed to know where she was going and led her up into the bleachers, making her way across them until she settled down with a small group of people surrounding a middle-aged man. It was a strange feeling, suddenly feeling like the center of everyone's attention as they all stared at her. "Tohru-kun, this is Sohma Kazuma. Kazuma-san, this is Honda Tohru."

The man stood up, inclining his head to her in respect. "Ah yes…the roommate. I'm very pleased to meet you."

Eyes widening in surprise, Tohru leaned over several times to bow quickly to Kyou's foster father. "No! No! The pleasure is mine; I am sure. Kyou-kun talks about Shishou-san all the time. I'm just happy to get to meet you!"

Giving her a warm smile, Kazuma turned to his companions and moved to introduce them as well. "I'm sure you haven't heard of any of them, but these are a couple of Kyou's cousins. Sohma Isuzu, Sohma Hatsuharu and Sohma Kagura—all distantly related to him of course. Haru and Kagura are both students of mine. Isuzu has been staying with me for a little over a year now."

A trio around the same age as her sat near Kyou's Shishou, eyeing Tohru curiously, which made her slightly uncomfortable. _'No...the pretty black haired girl…Isuzu…she's looking almost angry at me. I don't understand.'_

"Ah…it is true. Kyou's shacking with a girl….niiice." Getting to his feet, Hatsuharu gave her a quick bow as he tried to avoid the irritated slap of Isuzu.

"I-It's nice to m-meet you all." Tohru replied, giving them several quick bows before settling in next to Saki, she longed to ask the question on the tip of her tongue—were they cursed as well? She wondered if she'd ever feel comfortable asking them.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Curiosity had gotten the best of the dempa, her waves had been haywire lately and she waited patiently for the best moment to discuss the issues with Kazuma. A surprise surge of jealously by Tohru had given the perfect opportunity for her. Sohma Kagura had left the stands to go and speak to Kyou, during the girl's absence Tohru hadn't been able to rest—her waves emitting a strong jealous vibe. _'She doesn't even notice she has nothing to worry about. The entire conversation is about her, I think. He keeps blushing and glancing up in her direction, he's barely paying attention to Kagura.'_

"You can go down there and speak to him if you like, his match isn't for a little while yet and I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

Turning to Kazuma, Tohru's face lit up in a brilliant smile. "Oh no! I wouldn't wish to interrupt them!"

"He'd probably thank you," Isuzu replied. "You wouldn't be interrupting anything."

"I d-don't know. I-I…can I do that?"

Saki nodded, giving her an indulgent smile. "I don't think he would mind at all."

A fevered blush quickly covered the girl's cheeks as she gathered the strength to do just that, heading down the stairs to interrupt the pair. The moment she was out of earshot, Saki gave the answer Kazuma most likely was interested in. "As far as I can tell, the answer is no. I can usually pick up a second wave by the time the mother is about eight weeks along, so we still have a few weeks to go before we will know for certain, since it only happened a little over a month ago. She has not had a cycle yet though."

"Wait!" Isuzu yelled in surprise, glaring at her. "Are you telling me—she might be…be…be…"

"Pregnant?" Haru finished for her.

"Yes, sometimes that happens when you seduce someone who isn't expecting to have sex right then."

Kazuma just chuckled, as Isuzu rolled her eyes in annoyance. "I have to admit that a part of me will be disappointed if it doesn't happen, but I think it would be for the best if it doesn't."

"Now is not the right time," Saki continued, looking down at the pair that were quietly conversing as Kagura made her way back into the stands. "There are some curious...how shall I put it? Things are progressing in a way I hadn't quite imagined. I am noticing things that I hadn't paid attention to the first time that appear to be different now."

The elder man looked on with interest, spurring Saki forward. She'd spoken a little about her dempa waves to the man the evening when he'd informed Arisa and her that they would have to figure out a way to discover if Tohru had conceived that night, letting him know that it wouldn't be anything difficult for them to discover. His openness and non-judgmental attitude had been something extremely refreshing, making her interest in him rise substantially.

"I would like to speak with Sohma Hatori; if at all possible, I'm not sure exactly how it all was supposed to happen." Saki gave a sad smile, watching the way Tohru continued to blush around her roommate. "During their time together, Tohru had a large wall that was slowly broken down by Kyou...it still is and her heart almost picked up right where it left off and it seems to be frightening her. Sohma Kyou's heart is the one that scares me though. There was always this wall up--which was gone the night you brought them home with their memories erased. It remained down until the day with the mix up in rooms. To be precise...it was erected the moment he learned _who_ she was."

The sad smile that covered Kazuma's face was all the evidence Saki needed. Her guess was right. "If you wish to discuss this, it is something very personal and I don't think we should have an audience."

Looking at the handful of Sohma's that were in the vicinity looking on with curiosity, Saki moved to her feet. "I wish to discuss this further to evaluate the true risk to Tohru-kun."

"Understandable," Kazuma agreed; looking down at the pair on the gym floor as Kyou gave Tohru a hesitant grin. Getting to his feet, he turned back to Saki. "You are protective of her, I can understand that. I just ask one thing in return, this doesn't go any further than the two of us. Even Uotani-san can not know about this."

"Fair," Saki replied, turning to head down the stairs. Kazuma followed, making a short detour toward the pair, placing a hand on the top of his son's head as he spoke to him briefly. Kyou turned to give her an angry glare, most certainly imagining her trying to seduce his father. Saki just gave him a knowing smile, which seemed to panic him further as Kazuma returned to her side.

"Tohru-san will find me if we have not returned by the time Kyou's match is about to start." he said, leading her out of the building and onto the grass. Deciding they were far enough away, Kazuma took a seat and seemed to be contemplating where exactly to begin. "It's slightly complicated and I don't think you have the right to know every little detail, but I will try to do the best I can to give you the general understanding of what is going on."

Saki nodded, feeling the painful waves coming from the elder Sohma. The main draw she'd had for this man had been from his waves, understanding, kindness, acceptance of others. She trusted him, but...Tohru came first right now. If Tohru were in some sort of danger, Saki wouldn't put up with it without a true reason. Someone needed their eyes open in this for Tohru and it would be her.

"Deciding where to start...is difficult," Kazuma said quietly, the sadness radiating from his voice. "I'm going to start with what is the obvious to those that know him. His feelings for her have been almost obvious from the start, haven't they?"

"Yes, it took him a little time to figure out what they were, but they have been there for most of the time I have known him," Saki replied in agreement. "That barrier has been there as well, it's wavered and weakened from time to time, but it always remained."

"Yes, he tends to be quite stubborn about that," Kazuma said, frowning. "That is Tohru's barrier; it isn't something anyone he fell for would get--only Tohru." Taking a brief pause, Kyou's Shishou looked down in thought, trying to find the words he needed. "I...almost lost Kyou because of this event and it terrified me, so forgive me if I come across as a little selfish. He is my son--no matter how biologically different we are, it doesn't change anything."

"He lost the will to live, and I took him away for four months to try to get it back again. Though he wasn't completely healed, he was ready to return home at the end of that time and I let him go. That was at the time that _she_ moved in with his cousins, and he was forced to move in there as punishment as well--and attend school with all of you." Saki looked up in surprise, remembering when Sohma Kyou had started classes with them; he'd had some of the darkest and most chaotic waves of anyone she'd ever met. "His _real_ punishment was being forced to live with her, at least in his eyes. Kyou, in essence, fell for the one person he wouldn't allow himself to have, because he blamed himself for the events that had happened four months before."

"Something happened to him in--" Saki did the calculations in her head quickly. "...May of our first ye..." Saki trailed off as her eyes widened in confusion, looking up at Kazuma.

"_Hanajima? You…that is…do you see ghosts and stuff?"_

Back then, the darkness surrounding Sohma Kyou had been so thick that Saki hadn't been able to sense anything except his waves. Standing before Kyoko's grave, the emotions rolled off him and drowned out the waves of everyone surrounding them.

"_Even now it's the same…even now…your waves are echoing. Why are you standing before a grave with such feelings of regret?"_

"Kyoko..." she whispered as all the pieces started to fit together.

Kazuma nodded, giving her a sad smile. "I'll explain in detail when I get to that point, but let me go back and start at the beginning of the story now."

_I do not own Fruits Basket or the characters affiliated with the Manga and Anime. They are the property of Natsuki Takaya…I am just 'borrowing' them for my own nefarious deeds. I own nothing, suing me won't help anyone._

_Sari-15_


	9. Intuition

**Intuition**

Chapter Nine

Biting her lip as she stared down at the question, Tohru's frustration at being unable to concentrate left her feeling slightly drained. _'You can do it! Focus!'_ Narrowing her eyes, she settled in, determined to successfully work the statistics problem in front of her. _'If I can't do it, all of Yuki-kun's efforts would be wasted and that I can't let happen!'_ Pencil scratching across the paper as Tohru wrote down the basics of the equation, making an effort to appear as if she had understood _anything_ he'd taught her over the past hour.

Truth was, Tohru didn't remember a single thing her friend had attempted to teach her over the past hour. _'Ahh...I am so pathetic! He's taking time out of his busy schedule to help me and I can't seem to understand anything.' _She'd been happy to have a class with one of her new friends and had been surprised at how insistent Yuki had been about tutoring her upon noticing the red mark on her exam after their first quiz. No matter how much Tohru had protested, Yuki hadn't relented in his insistence on helping her make her way through the class. Even if classes had only been in session for two weeks, Tohru had noticed a vast improvement in her understanding and patience for the subject. _'Except today! Why am I having so many problems?'_

"Is everything okay, Tohru-kun?" Yuki's soft voice soothed her frantic thoughts at the equation in front of her. Looking up to the worried countenance of her friend, Tohru couldn't help the strange happiness that overcame her when he said her name. It wasn't anything she could put her finger on, but...no matter the situation she _had_ to smile when he said it.

"Ah! I am so sorry!" she cried, feeling her cheeks warmth in shame. "I'm probably wasting your time today. I mean, I can't seem to understand anything for some reason and you have been doing a great job." Letting out a loud sigh of frustration, Tohru stared down at the notebook in front of her. "I just can't seem to concentrate today..."

"Everyone has an off day," he answered, giving her a smile as he gathered his books together. "You've been improving and working hard on this class. One off day isn't going to hurt you. Why don't we take a break and get together again at the end of the week?"

Tohru nodded, feeling relieved that Yuki hadn't been upset with how inattentive she'd been today. "I'd like that, I really am sorry about today."

"Kyou should be coming back in a few minutes anyway, right?" Yuki said, turning to look at the crooked bookcase on the opposite side of the room. "I'm really not in the mood to deal with my cousin today. Maybe next time we should meet in the library..."

Tohru sighed, reminded of the fight that had broken out the last time Kyou had come home from class to find Yuki in the room studying with Tohru. She'd known from the beginning that the cousin's hadn't gotten along, but Kyou had been less than thrilled to find Yuki in the room with her. The resulting 'argument' had ended when Kyou landed on his desk from a kick to the chest, tearing the bookcase off one of the hinges and dropping everything to the floor, including the neko. "Yeah, maybe that's a good idea..."

"I'll see you at dinner then?" Yuki asked, getting to his feet with his books in hand. It had become a nightly ritual for Tohru to eat dinner with Uo, Hana, Yuki and the occasional visit from Kyou--when he wasn't in practice. For some reason Kyou only really got upset with Yuki when he wasn't expecting to see him. If he knew that Yuki would be somewhere before arriving, Kyou managed the situation without incidence by simply ignoring his cousin.

On the other hand, news of the boys being in the same Chemistry class had reached Tohru long before that particular class had been dismissed for the day. Their actions that day had forced Kyou to replace a large amount of scientific equipment he'd caused damage to. The fact that the Sohma cousins didn't get along well had quickly become common knowledge throughout campus. Most people found it quite strange to see them eating dinner at the same table from time to time.

"Actually...I won't be at dinner tonight. Kyou-kun's Shishou has invited us over to his place to eat," Tohru replied, taking the hand Yuki offered her as he helped her to her feet. Books in hand, Tohru carried them over to her desk and lined them up with the remainder of her textbooks in an orderly fashion. "I guess he wanted to celebrate Kyou's tournament win from this past weekend. He was so very excited about it!"

"Shihan's?" Yuki nodded his approval, giving Tohru a warm smile. "You'll have a nice time, I'm sure. Just make sure he's ordering takeout."

"T-takeout?"

"You'll see soon enough," Yuki answered with a warm smile, heading toward the door. "You look exhausted, haven't you been sleeping well? Maybe you should take a nap; that could be what's making it so hard to concentrate."

'_It's okay. Just be yourself and do things at your own pace. You'll fit right in.'_

"I-I'm fine!" she lied, plastering a smile on her face as she beamed up at him. "Everything is great! D-don't worry about me."

Hand on the doorknob, Yuki turned to her, doubt written all over his face as he watched her. "Don't wear yourself out...take a nap, it will help clear your head at least."

'_It's not cool making yourself sick from worrying. Just get over it so you can wander around the house with that idiotic expression like you always do.'_

Cheeks warming as she nodded mutely, Yuki gave her a smile as he closed the door behind him. Tohru flopped down on her bed and buried her head in her hands in mortification. _'I think I am going crazy!'_ She hadn't slept well at all last night, and it hadn't been the only night that week she'd had problems. Confused and worried about what was going on, Tohru had started to have dreams that had her really freaked out.

Afraid to ask Kyou or Yuki and confirm her suspicions, Tohru believed that the two girls that had come to watch Kyou's meet at the end of last week were both a part of the zodiac._ 'The thing you can't give up…what is it? The thing that's most important to you…what is it?' _That question had been haunting her all week. Isuzu Sohma hadn't spoken a single word to her at Kyou's meet last week, but the words she'd spoken to Tohru in her dream had distracted her to the point of exhaustion.

Yuki and Kyou were a part of her everyday life, to suddenly have them appear in her dreams, although strange, wasn't completely unheard of. Even Kagura she could find a reason for since she'd been...strangely jealous of the girl when she'd gone down to speak to Kyou. It wasn't a normal thing for Tohru to have those emotions and it was feasible that those thoughts had manifested into her dreams that evening. The Kagura she'd dreamt about had been completely different from the one she met, so she'd been able to write it off as just her imagination playing on her fears of the other girls attraction for Kyou.

'_Just as _you_ have things you can't give up, Isuzu-san…so do I.'_

'_Shut up!'_

'_There are things I _can't _give up. That's why-'_

'_Shut up, Shut up! Shut up! There isn't one! There isn't one anywhere! There isn't a way! No one knows how. At this rate...I…I don't know…what to do anymore.'_

Something about Isuzu kept nagging at the back of her thoughts, making her think she was missing something. That she knew the girl...

_'But that's impossible...'_

_OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

Opening the door to his dorm, Kyou blinked in surprise at the sight in front of him before his mouth slowly curved into a warm smile. Quietly closing the door behind him, Kyou removed his shoes and lined them against the wall next to his roommates. Carefully opening his closet so he didn't wake Tohru, Kyou placed his backpack on the floor in the corner before shutting the door again. The squeak of the rails caused the neko to grit his teeth together in frustration, whipping his head to the side to check to see if he'd disrupted his companion.

She stirred. _'Damn it!' _Holding his breath, Kyou fixed his eyes on her, hoping she wouldn't waken from her slumber. She'd looked exhausted this week and he didn't think she'd gotten as much rest as she'd needed, he'd hate to disrupt her now. However, he only knew this since he'd heard her up and around as he'd feigned sleep himself. _'Crap!'_ Tohru's eyes opened, blinking in disorientation as she scanned the room, her gaze landed on him.

"You're home," she said quietly, giving a slight stretch as she smiled up at him.

"I didn't mean to wake you...you can go back to sleep," he said firmly, closing the closet quickly since she was currently awake. The way she was acting, he was fairly sure she was getting up again though. Looking at his alarm clock across the room before carefully moving to sit up, Tohru attempted to adjust herself to her surroundings and tried her best to appear that she hadn't been interrupted at all.

Kyou couldn't help thinking she failed miserably at trying to convince him of it. The comforter mark lining her cheek gave her away completely. She still appeared half-asleep, her eyes dazed and glassy as she blinked at him, looking back at the clock before turning back to him again. "No! No!" she protested, trying to push down the yawn that he could tell was just begging to come out. "I never meant...we're supposed to leave here soon, aren't we? To go to..." Kyou grinned as the yawn finally emerged, interrupting her words. "I'm sorry!" She said, lowering the hand from her face as she finished. "I didn't intend on falling asleep! I will be ready to go shortly. I promise!"

"Take your time," he assured as she rushed into the bathroom, shutting the door before he could finish his sentence. Kyou shook his head, a small smile covering his face as the sound of water running came from inside. Easy to please, always wanting everyone around her to be happy, Tohru was a rare soul. As much as he wished it wasn't so, Kyou found himself wanting to be near her, to stay by her side more and more every day.

He knew it was the last place he belonged, he didn't deserve her.

His subconscious had been working overtime, bad enough that his thoughts of her during the day distracted him; she'd taken over his dreams at night as well. Something at the back of his brain tugged at him, trying to make sense of it all. He just couldn't understand any of it, why she had such a strange effect on his life.

For some reason, he wanted her to visit Shishou's with him--to show her where he'd grown up. At the same time, he was terrified to let her into his life anymore than she already was. She'd woken up the other evening and it had taken her at least an hour to settle herself back down again, he didn't think she'd actually gone to sleep right away either. He'd been awake himself but hadn't made himself known...too shook up by the nightmare he'd woken up from.

It probably should be taken as a warning, but the plans to visit Shishou had already been made and he didn't want to upset her by canceling them. It didn't help ease the sense of dread he had about taking her there. First, he'd had that nightmare about Shishou taking his beads in front of her. The other night, he'd woken up from a dream where he'd visited _her_ grave--with Tohru. If that wasn't bad enough...Uotani, Hanajima and that damned Yuki were there too.

"_Living humans are the strongest…the dead do give off waves…but they are very weak. They're drowned out by the strength of the thoughts of the living. Even now it's the same…even now…your waves are echoing. Why are you standing before a grave with such feelings of regret?"_

He'd tried to convince himself it had to do with the strange way Hanajima had been acting toward him, not bad or anything--just different. Even the Yankee had commented about it when Hanajima hadn't backed up her normal teasing of him the other day. It hadn't stopped their teasing completely, but he'd noticed a slight air of sadness in Hanajima's eyes and things hadn't been the way they used to be.

Not that her doing that made any sense, he just shrugged it off as her waves telling her something...

The bathroom door opened and Tohru emerged looking--not as sleepy as she had a minute ago. She wasn't completely awake but she gave him one of her patented smiles, lighting up the room and his mood in that instant. She'd pulled her hair back into a single light blue ribbon that matched her skirt perfectly--which he wondered why he even noticed anyway. "I think I'm ready!" she said, moving to her desk to pick up her purse.

Kyou got to his feet, moving to open the door as he put on his shoes. Tohru followed behind on his heels. Letting her out before him, Kyou locked the door before closing it tightly behind him. The walk to Shishou's wasn't a long one, he'd chosen this school primarily for it's location to the dojo. With his freedom, he'd gained the opportunity to continue his schooling far away from the influence of the Sohma family. Leaving Shishou hadn't ever been an option for Kyou though.

Exiting the stairwell, the pair headed for the front door of their dorm, the bright sunlight making Tohru painfully blink as they left the building. Kyou grinned as she lifted a hand to shield her eyes from the blinding rays. "Still not quite awake yet, huh?"

Tohru's face turned up towards him in surprise, her cheeks quickly flushing as her eyes quickly darted away from his. "I...didn't intend on falling asleep," she answered as she glanced at him again. "I was waiting for you to return...and...next thing I knew, you were there!"

"You probably needed it," Kyou said, pushing the button for the traffic light at corner of the street. "You've been working hard and probably worrying too much about all your classes." Taking her hand as they crossed the street, Kyou tugged her in the direction of the dojo and headed down the sidewalk.

"Is Shishou-san's house close to here?" Tohru asked, moving quickly to catch up to him so he didn't end up dragging her.

Kyou smiled, "About four blocks from school...we're almost there, actually."

The walk was a pleasant trip, located in a quiet neighborhood on a beautiful day, it didn't take them long to reach Kazuma's house. Knocking once before opening the door, if only to alert Shishou they had arrived, Kyou led Tohru into the entryway where they removed their shoes. "Shishou! We're here!" The smell of fish permeated his senses, making Kyou frown.

Leading Tohru into the kitchen, Kyou paused in the doorway blinking at the sight in front of him. "What...are you doing?" he asked his father in disbelief.

Standing at the stove over a full flame, Kazuma held a frying pan over the fire with several carp fillets filling the pan. He saw a hand reach out next to him from the corner of his eye as Tohru whispered, "Too hot...it's too hot..."

"I thought I told you to order take out!"

"I just saw these at the store earlier and I thought they would be great for today," Kazuma answered, looking thoughtfully at the pan in confusion. "I wasn't sure how to cook them but I thought I would give it a try."

"Why? Why do you even try?" Kyou growled, burying a hand in his hair as he shook his head. From the corner of his eyes, he noticed his companion slip past him toward his father. "What are _you _doing?"

"Um...if you just turn the temperature down a little..." Tohru mumbled, her hands reaching for pan. Internally Kyou groaned with frustration, Tohru _loved_ to cook and watching someone completely inept at the skill attempting the process was probably killing her.

"Down? Oh...I just thought that it would cook faster this way," Shishou chuckled, looking around the stove in confusion. "Now...how do I turn it down?"

"I-I can finish it if you like," Tohru said nervously, her hand hovering next to the handle. "I don't mind, really."

"No!" Kyou growled, storming over to the pair to attempt to separate them. "Guests aren't supposed to--"

"I would love that!" Shishou interrupted, moving away from the stove quickly as Tohru replaced him. "I've heard that you are quite the cook."

"Shishou!" Kyou screamed, warmth quickly rushing to his cheeks as he reached his father. Embarrassed that word of how much he enjoyed her cooking was getting back to her, Kyou averted his eyes from his roommate. "She shouldn't have to cook--"

A large shattering near his head stopped Kyou mid-rant as porcelain rained down on him. Turning around in shock, Isuzu stood in the doorway her glare piercing through him with hatred. Feeling the skin on the back of his neck raise, Kyou pinned his cousin with a deadly gaze. "What the hell did you do that for?"

"You are just an _idiot_! I can't believe you!" Shoes thumping on the wood of the dojo floor, Rin stormed away from the kitchen door, her black shoulder length hair trailing behind her as she headed for her room. Kyou moved to head after her, but Shishou's hand blocked him before he could get more than a step in.

"Hello...again," Haru said, appearing in the doorway with a smile on his face directed toward Tohru. Barefoot and lounging lightly against the door, Haru looked around the kitchen before locking eyes with Kyou.

"H-hello Hatsuha--" Tohru paused as an eruption of shattering interrupted the quiet of the moment. "Ah...I..."

"Nice to see you both...I'm going to go check on..." Haru jammed his thumb in the direction his companion had recently headed before slowly turning to head after her.

No one said a word for almost a full minute, Kyou stood there dumbfounded trying to understand what had just happened but couldn't fathom it in the least. "He'll calm her down," Shishou commented lightly, letting go of Kyou's arm as he turned to distract an obviously rattled Tohru. "Do you need any help with our lunch, Tohru-san?"

Ignoring the ensuing conversation, Kyou moved to sit down at the table, bewilderment at the recent events fresh in his head. It wasn't a secret that he'd never gotten along well with his cousin but other than the occasional glare or their constant avoidance of each other...Isuzu rarely got angry with him. For her to be _that_ upset...you'd think he'd have a clue as to _why_...

_'It just doesn't make any sense...'_

_OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

_I do not own Fruits Basket or the characters affiliated with the Manga and Anime. They are the property of Natsuki Takaya…I am just 'borrowing' them for my own nefarious deeds. I own nothing, suing me won't help anyone._

_Sari-15_


	10. Solace

**Solace**

Chapter Ten

Chewing on her lower lip, Tohru absentmindedly turned the fish over in the pan. _'That was...um...I don't really understand.'_ The crashing noises from the room down the hall had quieted, which seemed to settle Tohru's rapidly beating heart at the same time. Still, the sudden attack had shaken her a bit and it was taking awhile for her to concentrate on the things she needed to do. _'Just don't burn Shishou-san and Kyou-kun's dinner!'_ Determined to refocus her attention, Tohru found her eyes flickering to the doorway again instead of the dinner she was preparing.

"They haven't ever really gotten along," Kazuma said, breaking the silence in the room with a gentle chuckle. "When they were children they used to have these glaring matches, neither one moving for ten minutes at a time or so. Even if it was for a few minutes, it was nice to get a break from Kyou's enthusiastic energy for a short time."

"Oh...Eh?" Eyes shifting away from the doorway and back to Kazuma with surprise, Tohru blinked once before looking over at Kyou as he sat slumped at the table.

"Glaring isn't the same as attempting to maim someone, Shishou!" Kyou growled, looking over his shoulder to his foster father. "What the hell was that all about? I didn't do a damn thing to her!"

"Can I get a glass of water?" Tohru's head whipped back around to the doorway, caught off guard by the voice that had entered the kitchen. Hatsuharu leaned against the doorway, eyes apparently surveying the small group from where he stood. "Maybe some crackers too...see if I can get her to eat a few of them."

"Of course," Kazuma replied, moving to the refrigerator to get a water from within it as Haru headed to the cabinet for the crackers.

"Um...I can make more if the two of you are hungry," Tohru added, mentally calculating things she could do to make the food go further. "We wouldn't mind if you were to join us."

"Yes, we would," Kyou chimed in, making Tohru wince as he dropped his head to the table in frustration.

"Ah...well...she won't eat in front of anyone else. If you leave some for us, I'm sure she'll eat it though," Haru said, pulling the rice crackers down from their place. Turning back around, he made his way across the room and paused next to Kyou. "Nice dodge, you've improved."

"I didn't dodge!" Kyou growled, bringing his head up as he turned around to glare at his cousin. "Your girlfriend has horrible aim."

"Hmm...maybe she meant to miss you..." Haru shrugged, making Tohru think the entire encounter was over as he took the bottle of water from Kazuma and headed for the entryway. "Anyway...It smells like your girlfriend is a great cook. I'm looking forward to the meal, Honda-san."

"_Eh? _I...err...I..." the spatula slipped through her fingers and clattered onto the counter. _'Girlfriend?'_ She could feel the rush of heat as her cheeks flushed, hands fumbling to grasp the utensil back in her hands. It took a moment to get control of the item, her heart pounding rapidly in her chest. "I'm not...I..."

"She's...She's not my girlfriend!" Pressing the spatula to her chest, Tohru didn't dare look at Kyou as he vehemently denied the claim. _'It's true. I'm not, I never even thought about something like that. But why does hearing him say it, hurt?' _Staring into the pan, she watched the edges of fish as the small amount of liquid bubbled around it, trying to forget about the clenching in her chest. Blinking her eyes, the telltale warning of impending tears prickled, making her clench them shut as she willed them away. _'It's really silly to get upset about.'_

"Would you like a hand with something?" Lids flickering open, Tohru turned to the voice, giving Kazuma a wide smile. She hesitated, not really wanting to reject his offer, but she'd already seen his attempt with the fish. It would be rude to refuse him in his own kitchen...

"Don't touch anything, Shishou." Kyou cut in, getting to his feet from the table. Tohru noticed that Hatsuharu had left again, leaving the three of them alone as they'd been before. "Why don't you go find something else to do? If she needs help, I can help her."

"I can at least manage the rice...I think."

"No, you can't," Kyou said, placing a hand on his father's shoulder and steering him toward the entryway. "I've eaten your rice and wouldn't force her to try it. Go catch up on one of Shigure's books or something until it's done."

A smile slowly crossed Tohru's face watching the two of them, surprised at the tight bond they held. She knew Kazuma wasn't Kyou's real father, but they obviously had a relationship that was much tighter than most children had with their parents. It kind of reminded her of the one she'd had with her own mother. _'I wonder...I wonder what my relationship with my dad would have been like if he'd lived...'_ For a long time, that was something she wouldn't dare think about, but watching the two of them...

"Hey...what's wrong? You're spacing out again."

"Eh? _I'm sorry!_" Eyes wide, Tohru hadn't heard him approach and his voice suddenly appearing next to her startled her. Turning toward him, Kyou was lounged against the counter looking at her thoughtfully. "I was just thinking...or rather...um..." She gave a smile giggle, unsure of how to voice her thoughts. "Your relationship with Shishou-san, you are very lucky. Not everyone has that type of a relationship with a parent."

The embarrassment that filtered through his complexion, turning it scarlet, came as a surprise to Tohru. "_I'm sorry_! Maybe I shouldn't have said anything!" she replied, whipping back to focus on the fish. "I just...It's..."

"No, it's okay...really," he replied, voice strained as he coughed into his hand. "I just didn't expect you to say that is all. Kunimitsu, that's Shishou's assistant, he's constantly making fun of us..."

"It's really special, is all. It just reminds me of my mom and me. After dad died, we really only had each other and were really close," Frowning, Tohru stared into the pan as a wave of regret flowed through her. "I don't remember much about him... Mom didn't really talk about him. Though...I don't know...I guess lately, I regret never asking her. I could ask Grandpa about him, I'm sure he'd tell me...but it's not really the same. Mom and I...I didn't want her to miss him, so I never brought it up. It was like I thought I was competing with him, which is silly. It wasn't until after she was gone that I wished I'd known more...err…" Glancing up, Tohru could feel her cheeks flush deeply as her voice trailed off.

"I'm sorry…I don't really know why I am telling you this," she quickly added, waving the whole conversation off with a flick of her wrist. Turning back to her fish, Tohru focused on cooking dinner and trying to calm her suddenly shaking hands. "I…I…don't normally…talk about…"

"It's okay," Kyou said, giving her a gentle smile. "I don't mind, really."

"I…I…don't…never…um…I…" clenching her eyes shut, the tears had suddenly prickled to life. "I don't…I…why?"

"Hey! Hey!" Flinching as a hand shot to the top of her head, Tohru rubbed an eye with one of her fists as she tried to wipe away the moisture. "What's with the tears all the sudden?"

"I…don't know…" Tohru said, burying her face in her hands as she took a deep breath. "I just haven't ever said that to anyone before…competing with him. I don't even know why I said it to you."

"I dunno…I've gotten used to your babbling these past few weeks. You could probably tell me your entire life story and I wouldn't be paying attention enough to actually _hear_ it," Kyou gave her a smile, trailing his hand from her head down her to her cheek as she gave a nervous giggle. Wiping away a stray patch of wetness from beneath her eye with his thumb, he leaned down with a serious expression until he was almost at eye level. "Don't burn the fish or you're no better than Shishou."

'_The fish?...Oh! The fish!'_ Mouth dropping open, Tohru swung back around to her pan in an attempt to save the meal. To her surprise, it wasn't near burning in the least. Turning back to her companion, he chuckled to himself as he looked through the cupboards and dragged out the rice. _'He likes to tease me…' _she thought, an affectionate smile gracing her as she watched him digging through the cupboards. _'He's wrong though, I think I tell him because he does listen. I would probably tell him my entire life story if I started babbling enough. He'd listen…he'd remember everything. He always remembers everything…'_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

'_They are just disgusting,'_ Rin thought, staring through a crack in the hallway door that lead into the kitchen. Watching the pair as they prepared dinner, the couple had obviously fallen hard for each other again. Though, to Rin, it felt like she was witnessing the start of a train wreak watching the casual flirting between them. _'How stupid is everyone? I can't believe no one is fighting against this! It's just going to be worse for them this time if Akito finds out!'_

"You shouldn't spy, it's not polite."

Eyes narrowing, Isuzu glared at the ground in disgust. "I don't understand you. You've done a lot of stupid things in my life, but this, by far, is the stupidest." Angry at having her hiding spot discovered, she slid out of the narrow opening and turned in the direction of her room.

"Maybe so," Kazuma chuckled, lifting a hand to the back of his neck, rubbing lightly near the base. "I haven't regretted a moment of it though. Hopefully that streak will continue."

Taking a deep breath, Rin clenched her hands into fists and slowly turned toward Kazuma. Anger raged through her, what he was doing was too dangerous. "Why would you risk it? He has his freedom, isn't that enough? Why can't you just leave her alone?" A burning within made her lift her hands to her eyes, palms pressing deeply to cease the wetness. "If he...if he...it's too risky. You aren't just risking memories anymore."

"I know," Kazuma answered quietly. "There is a part of me that is being very selfish, even with a reprieve I still want more for him. I sometimes wonder if I am doing the right thing, so I ask myself one question. 'What would she want?'"

_'Because Kyou-kun is the most important thing to me.'_

Isuzu clenched her eyes shut, a stabbing pain in her chest accompanying the memory. "She's stupid...so stupid..." One arm lowering to slide over her stomach protectively, Rin wiped the wetness from her face with the remaining hand. "It won't happen...we tried and it never happened. I can't agree with what you're doing."

"There are rumors that the curse is breaking down," Kazuma said calmly, giving her a gentle smile. "I've even heard rumors...that some spirits have broken."

_'That's not...I would have known!'_ Eyes widening, Rin stared at the elder Sohma with a mixture of fear and hope in her eyes. _'If that's true...If...' _A shaking hand lifting to her mouth, Rin tried to settle the excitement that had overcome her. _'Haru...please...oh please...'_

"If it's true, having these two torn apart without putting enough pressure on his bond with Akito..." Kazuma gave a sad smile as he looked to the door the two teens stood behind, unaware of the conversation mere feet away. "He wouldn't have the strength to fight it without her there. If there was another way I could think of that would keep her out of it, I'm sure that's what he'd want me to do. He doesn't stand a chance without her though. I don't have a choice."

"She isn't anything special," she spat, knowing she didn't believe the words herself. Though Tohru was what one would consider 'normal', there was a part of her that made her above and beyond others—something spectacular. A heart that could heal almost everyone around her, it wasn't a wonder that Kazuma had decided to put his faith in the girl yet again. "What makes you think that this time will be different?"

"My choice has nothing to do with their feelings," Kazuma answered, surprising Rin with the answer. "I just consider that an added bonus. I know it might not make sense to some of you, putting her in danger like this again but it really can't be helped. It wouldn't work without her. There is something Kyou needs from her that he can't get from any other person alive in this world."

"That doesn't make any sense," Rin growled, halting in her tirade as the door they'd been standing next to slid open. Panic rolled through the uma, whipping around to see her crimson eyed cousin looking just as surprised to see them as she felt.

"Uh…dinner…is done," Kyou stumbled, looking between them with confusion before turning back to the kitchen.

Kazuma gave her a smile as he turned to follow his son, "Why don't you let Haru know so he can get something to eat if he wants."

Looking past Kazuma into the kitchen, Rin watched as Tohru smiled at Kyou, dishing out a large portion of rice for the neko. Shaking her head, Isuzu turned away from the scene, feeling her stomach roll in upset as she stormed toward her room. It wasn't surprising to find Haru lounging on her bed playing a videogame. He rarely spent any time at his own house these days, so he'd brought over what he'd deemed his 'essentials' to Kazuma's. "Supposedly dinner is done…"

Looking up, Haru gave her a smile as he paused his game and tossed the controller on the floor. "Where'd you go?" he asked, rolling to his side to slide his feet off the bed. Stretching slightly, Haru got to his feet as Rin switched places on the bed with him. "Did you want something to eat?"

Shaking her head in the negative, she knew he'd bring something back for her anyway. That was part of who he was, Haru was kind, gentle, and had the tendency to care for everyone around him. '_I've even heard rumors...that some spirits have broken.' _Watching as he headed for the door, Rin couldn't help the sense of panic that assaulted her at the reminder. It wasn't him, she knew that but…she wanted it to be. She'd give up her own freedom for him to obtain his own if she'd had it.

"I'll be right back," he said, seemingly oblivious to her turmoil. Watching him leave, Rin couldn't help wondering who Kazuma had heard that from. Things had been really strange lately within the family. The entire experience with Tohru and Kyou had seemed to shake up everyone, even her own relationship with Haru had taken some healing to get back to the place it had been before the incident.

'_Had she known how close she was?' _ She'd been angry with the younger girl at first, felt abandoned by Tohru's actions. To do all that she'd done for Kyou, just didn't seem worth it to Isuzu. She knew how Tohru felt, but she could have continued fighting even after Kyou was gone. To willingly do that to herself, she had to have known what she was risking by trying to go against Akito. If she hadn't come after Kyou, Akito probably wouldn't have requested it and Tohru could have continued her goal without the god's interference.

"Ah…I haven't had Honda-san's cooking in forever," Haru commented, sliding the door open as he returned to the room. Closing it behind him, he settled next to her on the bed, holding out a small bowl to her. Without commenting, Rin took a bite from the proffered chopsticks before letting out a gentle sigh. "What's wrong?"

"Um…Kazuma said something to me that left me thinking," she started, not sure how approach the subject. Things had been good for them this last year, but she hadn't been as active in her attempts to break the curse since her experience in the cat room and getting back together with Haru. Tohru on the other hand, hadn't stopped looking and Rin never did tell her what had happened to her during her disappearance…which made her wonder if there were things Tohru hadn't told her. "Actually, it's sort of backing up something Gure-nii said to me once before, that maybe the curse is breaking on it's own. Kazuma seems to believe that there have been zodiacs that have already broken their bonds."

The silence seemed to last forever, Rin hadn't realized she'd been clenching onto the silver band surrounding his wrist until he removed her hand and gently gripped it. "I guess it's possible," he said quietly, looking thoughtful as he stared at his rice. "If anyone would know, I don't know why it wouldn't be Shihan. He's in a position most people aren't, neither cursed but surrounded by those that are. Do you think it's true?"

"I'm not…sure," she answered, afraid to delve too deep into the subject with him. "I don't know what to think. Things have been…strange…lately. I can't even think about…"

"Do you want to look into it?"

Blinking, she lifted her chin to look at him in disbelief. "I…I…I don't know," she admitted, afraid it might upset him if he thought she wanted to start doing all of this stuff again. The last time it had almost destroyed the both of them and—

"Well…I don't think it would hurt to dig around a little. If Shihan thinks something is up, there might just be. He wouldn't just say it…"

Eyes wide, Rin stared at her boyfriend in confusion. "You mean…together?"

"I told you I'd never let you do things on your own again. I won't let you do this alone." Lifting the chopsticks to her mouth again, Haru gave her a smile as the edges of her vision blurred. "Now eat or you won't have the strength to keep up with me."

_I do not own Fruits Basket or the characters affiliated with the Manga and Anime. They are the property of Natsuki Takaya…I am just 'borrowing' them for my own nefarious deeds. I own nothing, suing me won't help anyone._

_Sari-15_


	11. Suspicion

**Suspicion**

Chapter Eleven

Staring at the ceiling directly above his bed, Kyou found himself trying to count the small depressions in each of the tiles to get an exact number on each. If he could compare the differences of punctures on each tile, see if each square varied in number of holes, sooner or later the tightening in his groin would _have_ to dissipate and let him fall back to sleep.

At least that's what he'd been telling himself for about the last hour.

Things had gone from bad to worse in the past couple of weeks, the dreams occurring every few nights. Those nights left him drained and he often woke in the middle of the night unable to settle his mind for several hours. Because of this, his focus had been off during the day as well. Daydreaming about Tohru had lost him a match this past week, something his Shihan hadn't been happy about at all. It should have been an easy win for his team, but he'd been too distracted and his opponent had found an opening.

This had all been _before_ this latest dream though. _'I'm screwed…seriously…How can I even look at her now without seeing…'_ Slowly swallowing, his eyes scanned to the other side of the room where his roommate slept peacefully, oblivious to the predilection of his feelings.

"_You are so beautiful."_

"_You aren't supposed to say that to me, stupid girl."_

"_I know, but you are and I just had to tell you."_

Every muscle in his body contracted at the memory of the dream he'd woken up from earlier. It was going to take a hell of a lot more than just counting holes in the ceiling get his head out of the gutter. _'Damn it…when did I become such a damned pervert?' _Of all the people he'd met in his life, it had to be _her_ that he found he couldn't get out of his head, that he wanted to selfishly keep to himself and she, of course, had to be the one person he'd never be able to let himself be with.

'_Definitely not like_ that_!'_ he thought, feeling his cheeks heat as the image of his fingers gliding over her flesh flashed through his mind. Clenching his eyes shut, hoping that would help even a little to get the impression from his thoughts but knowing deep down it wouldn't do a damn thing.

"I swear to god I'll never be able to look her in the face again after tonight," he whispered to himself. Never in his life had he been tempted to do what he was about thirty seconds away from doing, hell…he'd never _found_ himself in this situation until she'd appeared. _'It's like she flipped some dormant switch when she appeared.' _Sighing, Kyou slid his feet on the ground, knowing he was adding yet _another_ sin against her to his list of things he had no way to pay back.

Carefully pushing to his feet, he made his way over to his closet to grab a towel; already knowing even a _cold _shower wouldn't be enough to rid the affliction. Guilt ate at his chest, in contrast to the rest of his treasonous body that only seemed to tighten in anticipation of his submission to its demands. Taking out a light blue towel, Kyou turned toward the bathroom, glancing at Tohru as he took his first step. _'I am the worst person! If you knew what I planned on doing you'd be—wait…is that?'_

Halting in his steps, Kyou held his breath as a single tear slipped down Tohru's cheek. Mesmerized by the image, Kyou couldn't move as another tiny pearl slid down the side of her face. _'She's…crying?'_ The silence in the room was shattered an instant later as a muffled sob made Kyou focus his attention on his roommate, something that came as a surprising _'quick fix'_ for his affliction.

Staring at her, Tohru's eyes were closed and she appeared to still be sleeping. _'That's impossible though, right?'_ Curiosity getting the best of him, the towel dropped from his fingers and onto the floor as Kyou's feet cautiously moved toward her. The gentle sobs made her entire body shake; he didn't think she'd stay asleep for long with the intensity of her cries. For several long moments after reaching her side, Kyou just watched, intrigued by the phenomenon before sitting on the edge of her bed.

Arm moving with deliberate slowness to avoid startling her, Kyou's fingers moved to brush away the trails of tears on the cheek nearest him. The moment his skin touched hers, her eyes opened with a start and body lifting off the bed to sit as she stared back at him unknowingly, fear in her eyes. "Hey…Hey…it's just me," he whispered, heart racing by the expression of panic on her face. He knew the instant she recognized him though, her eyes softening even as the tears continued to fall.

"I-I…Akito…she said…I can't…Kyou-kun!" Before he even had time to process her words, the touch of her mouth on his stole all thought from his head. Hands gripping his shirt tightly, his shock rendered him stupid, unable to react for a long moment as her mouth drew on his with the desperation of someone starving. The shuddering sob that wracked her body startled him out of his shock just as his body started to respond to her kiss.

Forcing himself away from her, he pushed a little harder than he realized, the back of his head connecting with the edge of her desk with an impact that turned his world black as he fell to the floor. Hands lifting protectively to cover his injury, Kyou's head swam as he tried to piece together what had just happened as Tohru's apologies rang in the room, her sobs only getting louder. Kyou found himself beyond confused, wondering what the _hell_ had just happened.

"I'm so sorry! I just…she said you would…then you were _there_. I was—I was so happy, I d-don't know," she stumbled over her words, tears streaming down her face as she stared at the floor. She was purposely avoiding eye contact with him, which Kyou was grateful for since he couldn't seem to tie two thoughts together beyond 'she just kissed me'.

"Just…stop crying, okay," he growled, rubbing the stinging pain on his head. Frowning, he stared at her feet, tugging at his collar as the tee shirt around his neck suddenly felt too small. "I shouldn't have tried to wake you up, that was my fault. I just don't like hearing you cry, especially when you aren't even awake."

"I-I was?" she asked quietly, her voice shaking as she spoke. "I didn't mean to wake you up…"

"You didn't," he replied sharply, feeling heat rise up the back of his neck at the reminder of what he'd been about to do when she'd interrupted him. "I'd been awake for about an hour. I was going to take a warm shower to relieve some stress when you started crying."

At least it wasn't a total lie, though it wasn't what he'd call 'stress' that he'd been wanting to relieve. Face burning scarlet, Kyou couldn't even look her in the face after everything that had just happened, guilt crashing down on him like a strong weight. "I'm sorry," her voice quiet, the tears hadn't stopped yet but they had slowed down. "I don't know why I did that. I've just…this dream just scared me. I was so upset then…I woke up…you were there."

"You're fine," Kyou replied, finally looking up from his place on the floor to look at her. "It was just a dream, everything is fine. Why don't you try to go back to bed?"

"I don't think I can," Tohru answered, wiping some of the wetness from beneath her eyes. "You know when you have those really vivid dreams? It was one of those and I don't think I can sleep right away."

'_Yes, I know all about those vivid dreams. I just woke up from one of them!'_ Sighing, Kyou ran a hand through his fiery hair in frustration. "Okay, is there anything that would help?" Chewing on her lower lip, Tohru wrinkled her nose up in thought before looking down at him. A slight blush covering her face, she shook her head in the negative before turning away from him again. "Yeah…I don't believe that. What are you thinking?"

Head whipping back to him, Tohru's cheeks flushed a deeper red as she looked at him with surprise. "It's nothing…just something my mom did for me when I was little." Closing her eyes, she shook her head quickly in embarrassment as she turned away from him.

Still off kilter from the events of the last several minutes, every nerve in his body felt as if it had been through an emotional rollercoaster. Maybe it was the guilt at being stopped from what he'd been about to do, or maybe his head was still experiencing after effects from that kiss she'd given him. Either way, he needed to get away from her and give her some space to get back to sleep. "Just tell me what she did," he found himself saying. _'Damn it! That's not what I wanted to say! Why did that come out?'_

There was a pregnant pause as he waited for her to answer, breath held with dread of whether she'd actually agree or not. Heart beating wildly in his chest, he couldn't calm the way his stomached flipped, making him feel more than a little nauseated. _'Why does she always make me feel pulled in fifteen different directions?' _It had gotten past the point of driving him nuts _long_ ago, part of him wanting to do everything the other part was desperately trying to avoid.

"I…um…It's okay. I'll be fine," she managed to get out after an overly long period of time. "She just used to rub my back and have me tell her about the dream. Mom always said once you got it off your shoulders, you'd feel better."

'_Yeah, something tells me your mom wouldn't want me touching you. Especially not after the dream I just had…'_ Dragging a hand down his face in exasperation, Kyou knew setting a finger on her was completely out of the question. Even thinking about it made his body do things he'd rather not have to deal with at this exact moment. Still, he didn't want her crying or anything anymore. "No, if it would take your mind off things, at least talk about it. I mean, it's not like you're dreaming about that damned rat or anything. That you can just keep to yourself." _'Baka…she's not the one with the perverse dreams!'_

Still, she giggled and laid back down on her bed, which managed to calm the neko down a little. "No, the dreams were about—" She trailed off, face coloring in shock as she appeared to gather her thoughts and weigh her words. To his surprise, her face suddenly paled as tears welled in her eyes again. "I'm sorry, it was just so real. You'll probably think I'm completely being stupid. I mean, it's just silly. It was just a dream, it wasn't real. Don't worry, I'll be fine."

"You're crying; you aren't fine!" he growled, glaring at her even if she wasn't looking at him at the moment. Instead, she was trying to furiously wipe the tears from her eyes. "Whatever it was shook you up, so just tell me what it was so we can both get back to sleep!"

"I've just been having some weird nightmares lately," she said quietly, almost as if she was talking more to herself than to him. "I mean, most of them haven't been bad but…they've all been extremely real. I know they aren't though, but it's just strange. I mean, she said you'd be locked up after your high school graduation because you were the cat. Just because they thought you were some sort of monster because of your other form. You're here now, so I know it's stupid to think that it could be anything other than a dream…"

His hands shook, bile rising into his throat as he tried to process her words. _'This isn't happening, how does she? I can't…this isn't possible!'_ Of all the things that could have come out of her mouth, he never would have possibly thought that there was a remote chance in _hell_ that it could be that. _'I think I'm going to be sick. Really…really sick.'_

"Oh! I am probably making no sense, am I?" she exclaimed in horror. "You must think I am a terrible person to have these dreams or something. I know it's not true so it's not like I _really_ think that if someone took your beads you'd—"

"Stop!" he yelled, the sudden word slipping from his mouth before he realized it had been trying to get out. Now that it was out, he wasn't quite sure what to say or do. She _knew,_ or at least was dreaming about something that no one else knew outside of his family. _'Dreaming about me?'_ Overwhelmed, his mind was completely shot and he couldn't think straight about anything. "I-I…that is…"

"I know it sounds weird, but I was happy," she said quietly as she leaned back down onto her pillow. "Being by your side, it made me happy and having someone threatening to take that away…" Closing her eyes, she chuckled softly to herself. "Most of them have been good."

Shaking his head, Tohru's face settled into a more relaxed expression as she slowly fell back to sleep. "Most of them?" he asked quietly, wondering if she'd answer the question before slumber claimed her. His chest constricted painfully as the silence played out between them.

"…dreams…always…together," her voice so quiet, he had to strain to hear her words. He wasn't even sure if he'd understood them correctly but all he could do was stare at her in stunned horror at this turn of events. Unless someone had told her, which he wouldn't think anyone would, somehow Tohru had dreamed about how he transformed when his bracelet was removed.

To make things worse, somehow she'd dreamed about the fact that if he hadn't beaten Yuki, he would have been locked up in the neko room after graduation. Thankfully, he had beaten the rat, so that fate hadn't ever played out. As Tohru said, he was here now so that didn't matter. It still didn't explain the fact that they had been dreaming about each other lately or that Tohru's dreams had revealed something that no outsider should know about him. _'Heh, almost like the dreams are showing us…I shouldn't even think that way. Talk about wishful thinking, damn I'm a pervert. Still, there's gotta be an explanation for all this!'_

Dragging his hands down the sides of his face, Kyou searched around the bedroom as a ball of dread churned in his stomach. Eyes landing on Tohru's desk, he eyed the pictures sitting there and focused on the photo of Tohru with Uotani and Hanajima. Several times he'd wondered how he'd never heard mention of the girl if she'd been such good friends with them. It wasn't like he wouldn't have recognized the name if they'd mentioned her, Tohru wasn't a common name for a girl. "Tohru? You still awake?"

The low groan that came from her bed he took as meaning 'yes'. With a hesitant sigh, he had a feeling her answer would only bring more questions but he needed to know. "Why didn't you go to high school with Uotani and Hanajima?"

Her eyes fluttered open, attempting to focus her attention on him as they begged to close again. "…I…did. You k-know…that…" Lids closing as she succumbed to the call of the night, Kyou just sat there in stunned silence staring at her.

'_That's not possible. I went to school with them. She wasn't there!' _Drawing a shaking hand through his hair, Kyou tried to swallow past the dry lump in his throat but only managed to choke on the bile that threatened to reject everything he'd eaten that day. "This isn't making any sense," he whispered, staring at his hands as he placed them back on his lap to calm their shaking. "I would remember meeting her before, I couldn't forget something like—"

Blinking in realization that there was a memory of his he'd been missing, Kyou's eyes slowly widened as everything began to sink in. Breath held; the neko slowly crawled across the floor as the dread in his stomach churned in anticipation of what he might find. _'I don't remember ever beating him. There wasn't another way to get my freedom without beating him, so why don't I remember it?'_

The single missing memory combined with the information he'd just discovered from Tohru had him second guessing everything he knew as fact. "Forgive me; I just need to know…" Reaching the side of her bed, Kyou gripped the edge of her blanket with a trembling hand and carefully folded it down past her hips. Clenching his eyes shut, it took a soothing breath to gain the strength to accomplish the feat in front of him.

'_Just don't wake up. Don't wake up!' _ Chanting in his head with his eyes scrunched tightly, Kyou carefully reached forward until his fingertips touched the satiny fabric surrounding her body. Holding his body as still as granite, he cautiously opened his eyes to maneuver the fabric beneath his hands. Sliding his fingers down slightly, Kyou reached the edge of her nightshirt, shifting his hand and direction of his movements away from himself. When the pads of his fingers touched the skin on her stomach, he had to bite his lower lip to prevent himself from reacting vocally to the feeling.

He apparently had no control over his roommate though, the contented sigh combined with the shifting of her body managed to press his entire hand against her flesh in a move that sent a rush of heat through his blood. Frozen still, Kyou gritted his teeth together and waited for Tohru to either, wake up and find him accosting her or settle back into her sleep so he could finish what he'd started. _'Don't move…Don't move…'_

Several seconds later, neither had moved a muscle and Kyou figured it would be safe to finish his investigation if he went carefully. Clenching his eyes shut again, the neko exposed inch by inch of his roommates flesh by touch alone. Once he reached a point he knew would be enough, he cringed and carefully opened one eye. Almost instantly, he found what he'd been searching for and his face fell in devastated defeat.

There was a mole just where he remembered seeing one in the dream he'd woken up from.

Living with her, he'd never caught her in any awkward situations like she had with him. If he'd seen any skin beyond what was typical on a daily basis, he would have remembered it. He'd had a hard time keeping his eyes off her, so he would have _remembered_.

'_There is no way! This…isn't possible. How?'_ Glancing back at his roommate, he leapt away as if burned by fire, dropping her shirt and letting it settle around her to cover his discovery. Getting to his feet, his legs were shaky as his mind tried to process the information he'd uncovered. There _had_ to be another explanation, he needed there to be one.

'_Hell, any explanation would work! I must be having another breakdown or something. The guilt…maybe this is all a dream. I mean…it could be just a coincidence. Maybe I saw the mole one day by accident when she…oh hell…I'm fucking going nuts.'_

Shutting the door behind him, Kyou hadn't even realized he'd left the room until the click of the latch reverberated through the hallway. At the moment, he only had one question going through his head, the answer to it would help figure out what exactly was happening to him and Tohru.

Making his way down the stairs, he found himself in front of the room he needed. Taking a deep breath in preparation, he pounded on the door and waited for an answer. Several seconds passed without answer, so Kyou lifted his hand to knock again when the door swung open. The occupant stared back at him unseeing, but Kyou didn't care. He needed his answer.

"Don't lie to me! Did I really beat you?"

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A/N

Wow…maybe that makes up for my lack of chapters lately. Two updates in the last couple of weeks. I can't believe I did a whole chapter in one POV too. I hope everyone is enjoying it! Things are really starting to pick up for our favorite couple. (Or maybe I just like to torture them too much!)

Thanks for Reading!!

Sari

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_I do not own Fruits Basket or the characters affiliated with the Manga and Anime. They are the property of Natsuki Takaya…I am just 'borrowing' them for my own nefarious deeds. I own nothing, suing me won't help anyone._

_Sari-15_


	12. Beginnings

**Beginnings**

Chapter 12

_Knock...Knock...Knock..._

Blinking unseeing into the darkness surrounding him, the pounding on the door was loud enough to bring his consciousness to a state of minor awareness. Moving in a daze, his feet touched down onto the mat covering the floor as he pushed off the bed he'd been sleeping in mere seconds before. Stumbling across the floor, he managed to get to the door before the person occupying the opposite side had an opportunity to wake up the whole floor with his incessant pounding.

Light flooding his vision as he opened the door, the identity of the visitor still a mystery as he found himself blinded as his eyes attempted to adjust to the sudden light. "Eh? Who...?"

"Don't lie to me! Did I really beat you?" The voice yelled, a thread of panic evident to someone who'd known this person for years—like Yuki had.

Lifting a hand to his face, Yuki rubbed his eyes in effort to wake himself up. "Kyou? What time is it?" Turning back toward his room, he couldn't even see the numbers lighting his clock to tell what time it is. "You didn't seriously try to wake me up in the middle of the night to ask me—"

"Just answer the damned question! Did I?" Arm moving without thought, Yuki snagged the hand that was coming at him in thin air, pushing his cousin back a few steps so he could close the door to the room behind him. "Damn it! What was that for?"

"You're going to wake up my roommate with all that yelling," Yuki stated, feeling slightly more awake as he noticed the panic-stricken expression on Kyou's face. "There better be a good reason for this visit, or I'm going right back to bed."

Frustration flashed over the neko's face before he turned away from Yuki, hands balled into fists at his side. From his posture alone, Yuki could tell Kyou felt defeated for some reason. "Just tell me that I never beat you..."

Shrugging, Yuki couldn't understand what the obsession with the topic was. Ever since that night, Kyou had maintained his belief that he _had_ in fact beaten Yuki in a fight or something of the sort when he hadn't. To Yuki, it had just been easier to let Kyou believe whatever he'd wanted. "Fine, you never beat me—what does it—"

"Damn it! You aren't supposed to say that!" Kyou yelled, turning back around to glare at him, eyes flashing wildly as he pressed the issue further. "Just tell me the truth!"

"Why does it matter?" Yuki sighed, burying a hand within his hair as he watched his cousin experience something resembling a nervous breakdown. He didn't understand what _he_ had to do with any of what was going on in Kyou's head right now. Yuki would rather be back in bed, and that's exactly what he intended to do once he got rid of his cousin. "What does whether you beat me or not have to do with anything? Just think whatever you want..."

"I shouldn't be here—" Eyes widening in panic, Kyou looked as if he'd said something he hadn't meant to say but then waged an internal struggle with himself on if he should continue or not. A long moment went by as Yuki waited, but in the end Kyou finally continued, voice wavering as he spoke. "Beating you was the condition, so I had to have..."

Watching as Kyou slowly walked backwards, away from him as his orange head shook in denial. Suddenly, Yuki understood the reason for his cousin's panic and that if he didn't stop him—Kyou would be gone. Hand reaching out to grasp Kyou's shirt as he turned away to run, Yuki refused to let him go. He didn't know exactly what was going on but he was determined to figure it out before his cousin messed up everything _again_. "No, you never beat me. That's not how you _earned_ your freedom."

Mouth twisting into a sardonic smile, Yuki released Kyou before pivoting quickly to catch the neko unaware with a foot to the face. Kyou slid across the floor with only a minor protest, lying where he landed for several seconds without moving. "I'm guessing I deserved that," he mumbled, moving to sit up as he rubbed the quickly growing bump on the side of his face. "Damn...I'm so confused..."

"How you feeling?" Yuki ventured, eyeing Kyou warily as he debated his next action. He wanted to talk to him still but not here, plus he'd need to grab his phone before going anywhere. The risk of Kyou taking off if Yuki went to grab his phone needed to be resolved before he could do that.

"Like shit, thanks..." Kyou mumbled, not looking up as he continued to rub his cheek. His countenance looked disheartened as he stared at the floor, it didn't look like he'd be going anywhere anytime soon without being forced. "I just don't understand anything..."

"I might have a few answers," Yuki ventured, turning toward his room to grab his phone. "I just don't think discussing them in the hallway is the best choice. Stay there, I'll be right back."

Quickly, Yuki dashed into his bedroom to grab the phone off the corner of his desk where it was recharging. When he moved to return to Kyou, his eyes lingered on one of the cabinets in his room. Most of Kyou's and Tohru's things were at Shishou's house, things that needed to be removed until there was a time that they could hopefully pull them out again. He wasn't sure if now would be a good time or not, but there was one thing that _he_ had that might come in handy today.

The items that they'd owned might not be accessible but there wasn't a way to get rid of all the proof of the past couple of years. Yuki had his own memories and pictures that he'd kept. Sliding the closet open, Yuki grabbed his photo album off the top shelf that contained his own high school memories.

It wouldn't be as good as the one that Tohru or Kyou had kept, but it would be a start.

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Head hanging down, Kyou stared at his feet, wondering just what he was getting himself into by doing all this. Fear flowed through his blood, making his heart pound within his chest as he debated if he truly needed the truth or not. Would choosing to remain ignorant make the pain within his soul dissipate? The truth of his freedom remained a mystery but he knew without a doubt that _she_ had been involved somehow.

The door opened again, Yuki returning with a photo album in his hands as he indicated for Kyou to stand up before closing the door to his room again. Doing as requested, he didn't think he had much of a choice in the matter if he wanted the answers he'd come for. No matter how much the truth worried him, he knew he'd need to know what had happened to get him in this situation.

"How's the roof on this place?"

The question came as a surprise to the neko, halting his movements as he moved to stand. "Why are you asking me?" he asked suspiciously, wondering how Yuki knew about his penchant for hanging on roofs when he was upset.

"Are you trying to say you've stopped going there to pout?" Yuki replied with mock disbelief before getting serious. "Maybe it's just one of those things that I remember and you don't. Again...how is the roof?"

Feeling reminded of why he'd come here in the first place, Kyou sighed before giving his answer. "It's fine..." he said, following behind the nezumi as they made their way into the stairwell. Not a word was spoken as the two of them traveled up to the roof of the building. Kyou, for his part was focused on the fact that Yuki had just pretty much verified that he'd had his memories modified.

The question he wanted to know was, 'Why?'

Reaching the final landing, Yuki opened the door and let him out first before following. "What happened?" Yuki asked, not even waiting for the door to shut before turning to grill _him_.

'_What the...I'm the one that doesn't remember!' _Stunned, Kyou just stared at him in disbelief. "Aren't I the one supposed to be asking that question? I mean...apparently _I'm_ the one that doesn't know what is real and what isn't anymore!"

"Okay, let me try again. What do you think happened?"

"That Hatori suppressed my memories, what the hell do you think I want to know? God, you piss me off sometimes!" Kyou growled, turning away from Yuki, hands balled into fists as he debated taking out some of his frustration on the bastard. "I want to know why the hell _Tohru_ is having dreams about things she's got _no _business knowing or getting involved with. I want to know why the hell _I'm_ dreaming about things I have no _reason_ to know about—only to find out they are _true_. It's like the worst nightmare of my life..." Body finally giving out, Kyou found a place against the wall, settled down before turning his face up to Yuki, and quietly said, "I think I'm ready to wake up."

"Yeah, well it's a little hard to wake up when it's not a dream," Yuki said, moving slowly to sit down next to him. "Hatori modified your memories, you're correct about that. Have you actually started to remember things though, or is it just that you've had these dreams?"

"Dreams," Kyou sighed, dropping his head into his hands, refusing to look up at his cousin as he spoke. "They don't seem real, I don't remember any of them happening...I just...I thought they were just dreams until tonight. I've heard of them doing this to people, but...it's...I just don't understand...why would they do this to me? I don't want to sound conceited or anything but I wouldn't _want_ her near this family. The sooner she got away the better and I wouldn't want her to—"

"Tell me one of your dreams," Yuki interrupted. Thinking about it, the _last_ dream he'd had immediately popped into his mind, making his face heat with embarrassment as he thought about it. "_Besides_ that one...you can remember that one on your own. Choose another one..."

"Eh...um..." Head reeling from the hearing _that_ dream might really be reality, it took a moment for Kyou to grab one that Yuki might know for a fact to be true or not. "Kyoko's grave...you were there with Hanajima and Uotani."

"The first anniversary of her mother's death," Yuki said, smiling as he obviously remembered the memory. "You decided to go at the last minute; I had almost forgotten about that day. Tohru had made a picnic for us all to eat in front of the grave, quite the odd way to remember a loved one."

"I don't really remember the picnic," Kyou admitted quietly, looking down at his hands. "Like I said, I don't remember very much of anything. She said she went to school with Uotani and Hanajima, like we did...but I don't remember her. I can remember school pretty clearly, but she's just not there."

Yuki looked down at the book in his hands before, glancing back up at Kyou, a thoughtful frown covering his face as he stared at him. "Tohru was definitely there. This is something you'll have to figure out on your own though. I can't just tell you what you want to hear."

Hands clenched at his side, anger swelled within Kyou as he got to his feet. "You aren't even going to tell me anything? This isn't just a case of 'an outsider found out', Yuki. She knew _everything_."

"I know," Yuki answered, gaze looking away from Kyou as the words slowly fell from his mouth. "Telling you what happened, it's not going to give you the answers you want. You need to remember everything on your own, I think. Getting a timeline for everything might help. I can help get one started, if you want."

Nodding, Kyou ran a hand through his hair, still confused about everything. When Hatori had removed Kana's memories, she still _remembered_ him. She remembered working for Hatori, but had forgotten the relationship they'd had during that time. "It doesn't make any sense, shouldn't she still remember me if we'd gone to school together? Kana still remembered Hatori even after everything. Why did they take my memories too? I just...damn it. What the hell happened?"

"Akito's orders were that neither of you could even remember meeting, Hatori had said that if you...wait..." Confusion flashed over the nezumi's face as a dark frown slid over his face. "Hatori..." he mumbled, snatching the cell phone from his side before quickly pounding four buttons in rapid succession and placing it to his ear to listen to the receiver. As he waited, he handed Kyou the photo album he'd been carrying. "Here's your proof."

Staring at the innocent looking book as he took his seat back near his cousin, Kyou felt his stomach do a fearful flip-flop as he faced the truth of what he'd done. There was no doubt that this was, in fact, entirely his fault. Having any sort of relationship with _her_ would have to be something he needed to be punished for, the only thing he wanted to know was _how_ it had happened.

"What _aren't_ you telling me?" The anger in the nezumi's voice was palpable, making Kyou look up from the closed book in his hands to where his cousin was practically spitting fury over the phone. "_Yes_, it's me! I just realized you _talked_ Akito into taking the stupid cat's memories without even realizing it was _your_ idea."

"There's something you aren't telling me, Hatori. This was all _your_ idea...huh? He's sitting right here, he knows something is wrong. They've been having these dreams...yeah...hang on." Yuki looked up, suspicion on his face as he turned to face Kyou, phone held out in front of him. "He wants to talk to you."

Frowning, Kyou took the phone from his cousin, lifting it to hear the voice on the other line. The person on the other line knew the truth, but Kyou wasn't sure if he wanted to really know what had happened anymore. With a sigh, he knew in order to protect Tohru _now_ he probably needed as much information as he could get. "What?" he growled, furious at having gotten himself into this situation for what was apparently the second time.

'_Yes, I was the one that got Akito to take your memories as well as hers. If it worked the way I wanted it to, the name Honda Tohru would still have memories attached to you. Is that right?'_

The hand holding the phone began to slowly shake with the anxiety that filled him, discovering that Hatori knew his secret. "You...How did you find that out? No one but Shishou should know that!"

'_You told me, Kyou. Just calm down. All I wanted to do was make the two of you on even ground when you met again. If you had remembered everything and she remembered nothing, it would have been too hard for you and you'd probably just leave her alone from all the guilt. None of us want that.'_

"So what I want doesn't matter?" he yelled, angry with Hatori for leaving him so helpless in the situation. Putting him in a place that he wasn't comfortable being in. He couldn't even imagine what could have happened to get Tohru and him together in the first place. "I wouldn't have ever done this! This isn't what I would have wanted, I _know_ that!"

'_We need you, Kyou. Akito is very afraid of Tohru, the bonds that connect us all has been fading lately and having an outsider adding strain to them terrifies him. Tohru damaged every single one of those bonds, she became like another member of the family to us and Akito hated that. She wanted to free us all, but one of us had a time limit and the thoughts of losing that particular member obsessed her. She didn't make it in time.'_

"So, everyone blames me? She shouldn't have gotten involved in the first place! I—"

'_There are some of us who no longer have any bonds.'_ Rendered completely speechless at the words, Kyou sat there in shock as he absorbed the words. _'I'm giving you a second chance to do this. You have your freedom right now, thanks to what she did for you. The easiest way to ensure that she won't put herself at risk is to do the job yourself so she doesn't have to.'_

The click of the receiver on the other side indicated that he'd been hung up on. Staring blankly at the buttons on Yuki's phone, he quickly decided it was way beyond his capabilities and just handed the phone back to the nezumi. "He lectured me...and hung up," he answered in response to Yuki's questioning look.

"Did he at least answer why he conned Akito into taking _both_ your memories?" Yuki demanded, hitting a button and closing up the phone with obvious frustration. "I mean, he didn't need to take yours, did he?"

"Something about putting us on even ground, I dunno... Said something about doing it right this time..." Gaze turning back to the book, he didn't fear it as much as he had before the phone call. There were answers there, he knew, but he had a feeling with every answer he got—there would be more questions. "Hatori said she was like a member of the family, I don't even know how she got involved. How am I supposed to do this when I don't even know what happened?"

"Let's start with the most important thing, how she got involved with our family," Yuki said, reaching over to grab the book from Kyou's hands. "It all starts with a girl, a tent and a landslide. Her grandfather was apparently doing some construction and she told him she had someone to stay with, which was of course a lie. Shigure and I found her camping on our property and invited her to stay until the completion of construction. She reluctantly agreed, after a landslide had destroyed her tent. Everything would have been that simple, but...you arrived back from your little 'trip' and decided you needed to attack me."

Yuki flipped through the photo album at a rate that drove Kyou insane, watching every page as it traveled from one side of the book to the other. "It was your clumsiness that let our secret out. She fell on you as you tried to attack me, transforming you. It wasn't long before Shigure and I were both transformed too and we thought that would be the end of it. Strangely, when Shigure went to tell Akito what had happened, Akito allowed her to keep her memories and stay with us. Part of the deal was you had to stay there and go to school with us as well."

Kyou shook his head in disbelief, amazed at how disconnected it felt to hear all that. Yuki apparently found what he'd been looking for as he raised the book up for Kyou to see the picture he'd found. "I don't...this...you're serious aren't you?" Kyou stumbled out with incredulity at the sight. Moving painfully slow, he grasped for the book, never taking his eyes off the photo that stared back at him. "She's so young...hell...we all are except Shigure. So this was..."

'_Only four months after Kyoko's death.'_

"We were quite the rag-tag family," Yuki said with an amused smile. "I believe that this is the starting point of your timeline. I'm not sure how much more of Tohru's had been altered, since I'd attended school with her before this date. This was...sometime in the fall...August...September or something like that..."

"September... September 10th," Kyou said with certainty, staring at the picture as he answered. There was a moment of hesitation as he debated whether to continue or not. Instinctively he didn't want to trust Yuki, but knew he needed to trust someone and the rat obviously cared about Tohru. "I was called before Akito; it's the day I made the bet with him. If I could beat you, I wouldn't be confined...I'd be a part of the zodiac."

"You never beat me."

"I know," Kyou answered quietly, still staring at the picture of the four of them sitting around the table eating dinner. "I just wish she hadn't gotten herself involved in all this. I still want to punch whoever placed us as roommates in the face for doing something so stupid."

"Actually, I thought it was Hatori at first," Yuki said with a frown. "But when I asked him about it, he denied it. He actually started laughing, saying it was probably just fate. Tohru said there was a mix up with her paperwork, that they listed her as a male."

"Shishou laughed too," Kyou growled, not wanting to get on the subject of things that fate had done to him. "So...if that's the start of my timeline...when is the end?"

It happened quicker than Kyou could react to, rarely the defender against attacks from Yuki, normally Kyou was the aggressor in their fights. When the smaller boy's fist connected with Kyou's cheek unexpectedly, it knocked him over as he hit the back of his head against the wall. "Damn it!" he growled, leaping to his feet as he got into a fighting stance moments behind Yuki. "What the hell was that for?"

"Graduation, you idiot!" Yuki spat out; anger burning within in his eyes as he glared at Kyou. "Damn it, I've wanted to do that to you since I found her that morning. Just trust me; you'll thank me when you remember that."

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_Thanks to everyone that has reviewed during my 'lack of updates'. It's been a stressful year and getting myself writing has been difficult. I promise it won't be so long next time. I really enjoy this story and have no plans of stopping it anytime soon. Hang in there. I promise there will be more updates soon!_

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_I do not own Fruits Basket or the characters affiliated with the Manga and Anime. They are the property of Natsuki Takaya…I am just 'borrowing' them for my own nefarious deeds. I own nothing, suing me won't help anyone._

_Sari-15_


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